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  • According to WikiLeaks, King Abdullah once referred to me as "that miserable son of a camel driver."
  • I was originally cast as Marty McFly's younger brother in Back to the Future. After filming a few scenes, they realized I was funnier than Eric Stoltz, changed the character to an older brother, recast it and the lead, and the rest, as they say, is history.

    "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

    Check out the Secret Headquarters (my store) website! Comics and Games for Everyone!

    I used to listen to WOXY.com; It was the future of rock-n-roll! RIP WOXY


  • According to TMZ, the Kardasian sisters are fighting over me! Those silly girls! As if they could come between me and Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman and Evangeline Lily!
  • Folsom Prison Blues is about me except I shot a man in Winnemucca, Nevada just watch him die. Johnny Cash thought Reno would be easier to sing.
  • I am what's technically known as a "pastorg" -- an organism that's part human, part pasta. My elbows, for example, are elbow macaroni.
  • I AM the dead man walking. (Staggering more than walking, really, but y'know, when you get as old as the SAF...)

    ELS
  • I have tiny little black lines emanating from all over my head, as evidenced by this picture my daughter drew:


    Photobucket

    "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

    Check out the Secret Headquarters (my store) website! Comics and Games for Everyone!

    I used to listen to WOXY.com; It was the future of rock-n-roll! RIP WOXY


  • I invented the internet and came up with the theory of Global Warming. I sold my ideas to Al Gore for a hefty sum which I promptly blew at the dog track.
  • I didn't learn how to snap my fingers until high school. Except that is the truth....and not very interesting...
  • In the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld, I am known as..."Two-Sheds".
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