"Finally, tonight, the solution of a sixteen year-old mystery.
As our viewers may recall, two months ago, the mummified body of an eighty year-old woman was found in a peat bog outside Bourtangerstad in the Netherlands. Preliminary tests indicated that the so-called 'Bourtangerstad Woman' had lain undisturbed in the bog since approximately 2000 BCE.
However, in a statement released today by UNIT Scientific HQ in Geneva, Switzerland, it was revealed that DNA testing had identified the Bourstangerstad Woman as the remains of Ms. Kimberly Ann Posinki, formerly of Middleton, Illinois.
I knew that people here would almost certainly notice.
JD DeLuzio said:
I assume you're baiting us:
"what about the rest?"
Vignette #23, Part Two:
Excerpt from an unpublished memoir:
I was born on a small farm near Winfield, Kansas in October 1943. I lived the life of a typical farm girl and might have eventually gone on to become a typical farm wife if not for something that happened in early November of 1958, shortly after my fifteenth birthday.
It was a cool fall night, maybe around 40 degrees out. I’d helped clean up after supper and finished my homework. I listened to the radio for a while, and then went to bed early, which was typical for me. What was not typical was finding myself wide awake at 3:00 a.m. I don’t know what woke me up that night. I often think about how different my life might have been if I’d slept that whole night through.
As it was, I tried to get back to sleep, but found that sleep eluded me. Feeling restless, I threw on some clothes and, moving quietly so as not to wake my parents and went out back and looked up at the stars. I don’t how long it was – probably not more than a few minutes – I heard a rustling over by the barn. I moved carefully to check it out. I noticed a shadowy figure near the barn door. I decided I’d better get my father. I turned to go back into the house when something – a twig, probably – snapped under my foot. I heard a soft humming sound and found myself enveloped in a sullen red light. Then everything went black.
When I came to, I found that I couldn’t move or speak. I seemed to be floating through the air, still enveloped in the red light. I caught fleeting glimpses of shadowy figures, mostly like people, but with arms and legs that were too long and too thin. I was carried behind our barn and then my “escort” stopped. I heard a buzzing sound which was followed by a bright light which dazzled me for a second. By the time my eyes cleared, I saw that I was in a brightly-lit hallway that could not possibly have been behind our barn. Much later, I learned that I had passed through a Zhaanotek (1) warpgate, but at the time, I was shocked and confused.
I was taken to a small room and placed on a pedestal against the back wall. A transparent tube descended from the ceiling, encasing me. The red light faded, and I could move again, but only for a moment. There was a flash of blue light, a blast of intense cold, and once again, everything went black.
I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but when I came to, a small, shabbily-dressed, middle-aged man with a mop of black hair was smiling at me. Behind him, a younger man in a kilt was standing by the door, obviously standing lookout. Orange lights were flashing, and I could a shrill sound in the distance, that might have been an alarm bell.
“Ah, you’re awake, good”, he said. “Just hold still a moment and we’ll get you out of there.”
He operated some controls and the tube rose up, freeing me.
“There you go”, he said. “Good as new.”
“Who - ?”, I said.
The man smiled again, and said “I’m the Doctor, and this is – “
“Doctor, they’re breaking through the door at the end of the hall!”, interjected the Scotsman.
“Oh, dear, no time for introductions, come with us, please! Come along, Jamie!”
The Doctor led Jamie the Scotsman and me through a series of corridors, pursued by the Zhaanoteks, fortunately (so the Doctor said later) mostly technicians who were not expert marksmen. We came to a blue box that said something about “POLICE” on it Before I could say anything, the Doctor and Jamie entered the box, pulling me in with them. I got another shock in a day of shocks, as I found myself in a large room, far larger than the box, in the middle of which was a six-sided structure, around which the Doctor was currently dancing, working controls. As a wheezing, groaning filled the room, Jamie guided me to a chair, and then went off, returning momentarily with a cup of hot soup, which I sipped gratefully.
Once I calmed down a little, the Doctor explained that we were aboard his TARDIS(2), a sort of time machine that he and Jamie traveled in. They’d landed in the Zhaanotek base, which was located on one of their world’s moons, and had discovered that the Zhaanoteks had been collecting beings from various inhabited planets in Earth’s section of the galaxy.
“Not a proper invasion”, said the Doctor. “Probably just scouting and evaluating for future reference. Very methodical people, the Zhaanoteks. How were you captured?”
I gave him a quick summary of what had happened to me.
“Just your bad luck, then”, he mused. “They wouldn’t have wanted to attract attention, so they would have taken the first person they found outside alone.”
The Doctor continued his story. He and Jamie had managed to free the Zhaanoteks’ captives, and, with their help, activated the warpgate and began sending them home to their various worlds. Unfortunately, he soon realized that during the struggle, one of the Zhaanoteks had hit their own power reactor and it was slowly but steadily going out of control.
“Even I couldn’t have fixed it time”, said the Doctor.
Once all of the captives had been freed, the warpgate broke down completely. The Doctor and Jamie had prepared to flee, only to discover that I was being held separately, since, as the most recently captured, I hadn’t been properly processed yet.
“We came to rescue you, and you know the rest”, the Doctor concluded.
“Thank you for rescuing me”, I said, “But can you get me home?”
A sheepish look came over the Doctor’s face. Jamie just looked resigned.
“You see”, said the Doctor, “I’m afraid that my control over the TARDIS is, I have to admit, somewhat less than perfect.”
“If you’ve not yet learned it in school, that’s what’s called an ‘understatement’”, said Jamie, earning himself a glare from the Doctor.
“So, you can’t get me home?”, I asked.
“I wouldn’t say it’s impossible”, said the Doctor, “But it may take some time.”
“Please do your best, sir”, I replied.
“Oh, I can promise you that much, at least”, said the Doctor. “Since you are going to be traveling with us, at least for a while, I suppose we ought to properly introduce ourselves. I’m the Doctor, and this is my friend, Jamie MacCrimmon.”
“Pleased to meet you”, I said, takingnthe Doctor’s proferred had. “I’m Mary Ann Summers.”
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