Worst "Got Better"

[Randy Jackson]

We're all quite familiar with the killing off of beloved characters, only to have them revived sometime later. It's something I don't think will ever go away, and quite frankly I don't totally mind it, as most characters that do die do so for short-sighted or poor reasons. I think all of us accept this particular trope as part of superhero comics whether we like it or not.

However, what I want to hear is what is the most implausible, ridiculous manner of revival that you can think of?  What explanation for a character's sudden return really mad you think, "Shyeah, right. Go pull the other one." What's the explanation that made you think "wow, the creative team must have been hitting the sauce really hard when they came up with this one."

I would say that Elseworlds, What If's and Imaginary Stories should not count.

I'm going to nominate the revival of Alfred Pennyworth aka the Outsider, for the very simple reason that his body was crushed by a very large boulder. Even if that didn't kill him, it should have left him crippled for life rather than giving him strange super powers and an evil bent. Not to mention that I sincerely doubt that Batman and Robin could have made such a mistake and believed him dead when he must have had some sort of pulse.

Let's hear your choices for the worst "Got Better".

[Randy Jackson]

It's his super power.

Richard Willis said:

...and Cap is wearing gloves. How do you snap your fingers while wearing gloves?

[Ronald Morgan]

Somehow the good guys had no trouble doing that in Johnny Socko and his Flying Robot.

[Luis Olavo de Moura Dantas]

He is just that good.

Richard Willis said:

...and Cap is wearing gloves. How do you snap your fingers while wearing gloves?

[JohnD]

Obviously, you have never been to Houston (pronounced House-ton) County GA.

Ronald Morgan said:

. . . most readers wouldn't know the difference between a hurricane and a bomb. 
 

If that's true, then our public-school systems are clearly inadequate and producing inadequately trained students.  Because even the most casual thought on the natures of hurricanes and explosives would inform a person that there is no similarity between the two.

My critique of America's public-school systems reminds me of something that rankled me when I was  a cop.  In our district was a street named Versailles Drive.  When a call-for-service was generated from an address on that street, the dispatcher and/or the responding officers would pronounce Versailles as "ver-SAY-lees".

Finally, at roll call one evening, when most of the offenders were present, I finally had to remark on the constant mispronunciation.  "Look, everybody," I said, "It's not pronounced 'ver-SAY-lees'."

"Then how do you say it?" they asked.

"It's pronounced 'ver-SIGH'---after the city in France."  I shook my head and remarked, "Don't they teach anything in high school, anymore?"

"I didn't take French in high school," claimed some of the other officers.

"Did you take United States history?" I asked them.

"Of course," they all said.  "We had to.  It was mandatory."

"Did your U.S. history include World War One?"

"Sure."

"Then what was the name of the treaty that ended World War One?"

Blank stares.

"Gentlemen," I said, "I rest my case."

 

[Ronald Morgan]

But...it worked for Gilligan...blew him into a tree but he was just fine...
 
Commander Benson said:

This one's a no-brainer for me.  I discussed last year in my three-part Deck Log Entry on "The Short Death of Red Ryan".

In Challengers of the Unknown # 55 (Apr.-May, 1967), editor Murray Boltinoff killed off Red Ryan, one of the Challengers.  Then, after getting cold feet about it, revived him a mere five issues later.  The problem was, in order to save half-a-country of innocent people, Red had been forced to detonate an explosive by hand.  Thus, he blowed up real good, into what should have been many, many pieces-parts.

The explanation for Red's survival of the blast didn't come until Challs # 61 (Apr.-May, 1968), and the excuse writer Arnold Drake provided was as absurd as it comes.  Here's what I wrote about it (boldface mine):

Still unanswered was how Red avoided being blown to bits in Turkey and how he came upon the secret of liquid light.

The next pair of issues carried a two-part back-up tale, explaining how Red stumbled across the liquid-light formula and wound up as a native stone idol.  However, the biggest question---how did he survive blowing himself up?---was given the shortest shrift one could imagine.  The explanation was reduced to one ridiculous line of dialogue:  “Maybe it was because I was at the very eye of the explosion that I wasn’t destroyed---just blown sky-high!”

 

Speaking as someone who's had an uncomfortable acquaintance with things that go boom . . . .

 

B***s***!

 

People caught at ground zero don’t survive.  They vapourise.  It was such an insult to logic that it gutted any seriousness from rest of the story.  Arnold Drake might as well have written that mischievous elves turned Red Ryan into the stone god Seekeenakee.

 

[JohnD]

Kevin Smith bringing Green Arrow's soul back from Heaven always struck me as kind of silly. Seeing the Flash (Barry Allen's soul) run around in the back ground didn't strike me as valid either. Most people I know assumed that Barry was stuck in the speedforce, or time, and would eventually just find a way to stop running, thereby proving he was never really dead. Don't get me wrong, I preferred Wally to Barry as the Flash, and in my mind, Barry could have stayed "dead" permanently (I just knew it wouldn't be the case, though).

[Captain Comics]

Now that you mention it, they also found Hal Jordan in the afterlife, in order to make him The Spectre. That was kinda silly, especially since he was still wearing his costume. Why would you need a mask if you were dead?

[Commander Benson]

John DeRubbo said:

Obviously, you have never been to Houston (pronounced House-ton) County GA.

Certainly, other, less well-known locations have nonstandard pronunciations for identical names.  However, without knowing otherwise (and, in the case of the "Versailles Drive" of which I spoke, there was no nonstandard pronunciation), the default pronunciation would be "ver-SIGH".

And nonstandard pronunciations of other locations doesn't obviate the secondary point in my statement that the instruction from the current public-school systems is inadequate.  After all, I asked my colleagues to give me the name of the treaty which ended World War I, and they could not---under any pronunciation.

I still rest my case.

[Ronald Morgan]

Dead enemies might want to beat up his ghost if they knew who he used to be?
 
Captain Comics said:

Now that you mention it, they also found Hal Jordan in the afterlife, in order to make him The Spectre. That was kinda silly, especially since he was still wearing his costume. Why would you need a mask if you were dead?

[JohnD]

I did get your point Commander (I was being a wise-acre). In any case, the American public education system is a strange animal these days. My kids are learning things I was required to learn at a much more accelerated pace (for instance, my eldest daughter was learning Algebra in grade school. In my time it was a right of passage to dread having to learn this in high school. This is only one example.) however, it amazes me that much of what I had to learn is omitted, seemingly, altogether (U.S. history, for example).

Commander Benson said:

John DeRubbo said:

Obviously, you have never been to Houston (pronounced House-ton) County GA.

Certainly, other, less well-known locations have nonstandard pronunciations for identical names.  However, without knowing otherwise (and, in the case of the "Versailles Drive" of which I spoke, there was no nonstandard pronunciation), the default pronunciation would be "ver-SIGH".

And nonstandard pronunciations of other locations doesn't obviate the secondary point in my statement that the instruction from the current public-school systems is inadequate.  After all, I asked my colleagues to give me the name of the treaty which ended World War I, and they could not---under any pronunciation.

I still rest my case.

[JohnD]

Really odd since, as I understood it, Nekron had been hoarding Green Lantern souls for years and years (at least between the 80's Tales of the Green Lantern Corps mini series and Blackest Night). What, Hal's soul wasn't good enough for him? (Well, maybe not at that point)

Captain Comics said:

Now that you mention it, they also found Hal Jordan in the afterlife, in order to make him The Spectre. That was kinda silly, especially since he was still wearing his costume. Why would you need a mask if you were dead?

[Commander Benson]

John DeRubbo said:

I did get your point Commander (I was being a wise-acre).

Oh, I knew that, Mr. DeRubbo, and didn't mind.  I was more addressing the entire group of posts pointing out non-standard pronunciations of place names.

I am impressed that your daughter's elementary school is teaching algebra.  However, I am not surprised that United States history is getting the short shrift.  It is fortunate that I have no direct reason to sit in on a secondary-school U.S. history class or an elementary-school class while U.S. history is being taught because I'd probably get outraged at how the tone of the teaching has changed.  (Such as, I've heard of cases where so-called valid justifications for the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor are given.)

Equally, I would be dismayed at how English is taught.  One thing I've learnt from reading such experts as Richard Lederer and Bill Walsh and Paul Brians is that when English is taught in elementary and secondary school, quite a few misconceptions slip in.  For example, there are no prohibitions against ending a sentence in a preposition or splitting an infinitive or beginning a sentence with "And".  Yet, these were all things I was told in school were no-nos.

And are they still diagramming sentences in English classes?  I have never endured a more pointless exercise in school.  

Based upon the abysmal number of grammar errors and improperly used words I come across, in all media, to-day, I suspect the current level of English education is even worse than in my day.