As is my usual habit, here’s something off-topic to function as SPOILER SPACE. The pictured fellow is the late, great Richard Kiel (at one point, he was one of Hollywood’s go-to guys when they needed a really large, imposing guy who didn’t need to be all that articulate) as the Kanamit in the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man”. I daresay that most of you are familiar with this story, but if you aren’t, here’s an interesting radio play adaptation of it.
One point that has always bugged me about this story is the book that the Kanamit brings with him to the U.N. and leaves behind when he departs. I got a lot of questions. Given what we learn about the nature of the book, what did he bring it for in the first place? Not something that you would necessarily bring to a diplomatic meeting, is it?
The next question that I have is, “Why did he leave it behind?” I suppose that it’s possible that he just screwed up and forgot it. This strikes me as unlikely, but it’s fun to imagine his boss berating him when he got back to his flying saucer: “Damn it, J’immbobb, you left the book behind! We can’t make a stink about it, now, or the Earthers will realize that it’s important! Besides which, they’ve probably already made copies of it. After all, their photocopying technology is highly advanced.” (I swear that I once read a Superman novel where aliens came to Earth because we were the only race that had invented copying machines, but I can’t remember the title.)
Another possibility is that it was a taunt at the Earthers. “We can hand a copy of our book to the Earth monkeys on account of they’re too dumb to translate it. Even if they could, they couldn’t stop us now.”
One more possibility is that he left it as a test, to see whether any of the Earthers were smart enough to translate it, maybe to make sure they dealt with the smartest ones first.
Finally, I imagine a Native American somewhere saying, “You idiots! Saying ‘We come in peace’ and handing out trinkets is how you started with us! Do you jerks not remember anything?”
Anyway, on to our feature presentation:
- Sebastian Shaw – I thought he was dead, but who knows with mutants these days? – has decided to hold a gala for just mutants so he can make a big announcement. He’s decided that mutantkind needs new leadership, but first he thinks they should have a party. He has recently been released from something called Graymalkin Prison, whatever that is.
- Regarding the weird outfits that everyone is wearing: Shaw has proprietary garment-making nanites that automatically alter everyone’s clothing into oddball costumes. Apparently, the nanites have been programmed to have weird, fetishy tastes. Also, do your keys and your wallet and stuff get altered, too? Are the nanites programmed to alter them back when you leave?
- Wolverine objects to being made to wear pants. He also objects to the way that Gambit and Rogue are all hot for each other. Jubilee notes that she is also horny and that she hasn’t gotten any in a while. This weirds Logan out – as well it might – and he gets all “Daddy doesn’t like the thought that his little girl has grown up”.
- Wolverine tells someone called Ransom that he has a surprise in store. Ransom asks if the surprise is a Canadian thing and I now have the image of Wolverine secretly entering Ransom in a poutine-eating contest.
- Rogue goes over to Cyclops and drinks champagne at him. Neither of them knows what Shaw is up to. Scott congratulates Rogue on taking down Graymalkin, which I imagine refers to a story that I haven’t (and will almost certainly never) read.
- Someone named Idie (seconds of internet research tell me that this is Idie Okonkwo, also known as “Temper”) crashes the party even though she knows that Scott and Kwannon would object.
- Mister Sinister (who seems to be coded as a stereotypical campy, vain gay man, here, but I’ve no idea if that’s normal for him, since I’m not familiar with the character) preemptively rejects whatever plan that Shaw has, assuming that it will be as dull as he finds Shaw himself to be. Before he cuts out, he expositions that Shaw has telepathic dampeners operating. The Angel (who is dressed as a devil (Get it? Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk!), who has been eavesdropping, opines that Sinister is a scumbag.
- Shaw is then confronted by Ororo, Kitty and Betsy Braddock. Ororo says Shaw is presumptuous, Kitty complains that Shaw murdered her (which is surely just “destruction of property” in mutant land) and betsy says that she and Emma working together could probably overcome Shaw’s defense systems.
- Toad shows up and Shaw flatters him for some reason. Shaw also flatters Hellion until Emma shows up and tells him to leave the kid alone.
- Elsewhere, Scott and Psylocke are dancing. They appear to be flirting but instead are plotting to murder one of the heads of 3K, whatever that is. Their targets appear to be Joseph who, if I recall correctly, is a clone of Buckethead, and someone called Astra that I don’t know who she is. Can’t say as I like to see Scott portrayed as plotting a murder, is he even considered a “hero” anymore? Also, since they are shown to be plotting a murder, we can be sure that whatever they’re planning will not be the murder that this story will revolve around.
- Emma takes a drink away from Idie, claiming that she’s too young to drink. Ransom comes over and he and Idie hit it off.
- Kitty dances with a woman that she doesn’t recognize and who doesn’t recognize her.
- Emma runs into the Sub-Mariner and the two of them go off to meet privately in the library. It is implied that the two of them are about to get “busy”.
- Idie and Ransom are still talking. It appears that they have prior history.
- Logan has smelled someone fearing for their life. He and Jubilee go to investigate.
- Meanwhile, Scott and Psylocke are still plotting murders, and their escape afterwards. They believe that 3K want to release something called the X-Virus, which would bew a bad thing..
- Elsewhere, Logan and Jubilee find Shaw dead. This sets off the security systems, including security drones, which Ororo, Kitty and Betsy disable.
- Toad asks if the X-Men killed Shaw. Kitty denies it, the Crimson Commando asks where Wolverine is, Hellion says “Who cares who killed him? Shaw was scum!” and Toad asks where Emma is.
- Emma arrives at the crime scene. She is not sorry that Shaw is dead. Wolverine asks why her scent is all over the crime scene, and why she came running from the opposite direction from the ballroom.
- A bunch of the others arrive. The Sub-Mariner says that it’s obvious that Shaw hasn’t been dead for very long and that Emma was “occupied” with him. Emma admits that she hated Shaw and is vague about whether she actually killed him.
- Wolverine says that Shaw’s been dead for about twenty minutes and that it looks like he died from nerve gas. Both Logan and Jubilee note that they both saw Shaw alive within the last ten minutes. My first thought when I read this was, “Where’s Mastermind?”
- Jubilee questions Kitty, Toad and Astra. Astra refuses to answer any questions. Logan questions Psylocke, the Crimson Commando, the Sub-Mariner, Hellion and Joseph. Joseph also refuses to answer questions. Hellion loudly accuses Astra and Joseph. Many others join in. Wolverine leaves Jubilee to control things while he races off to follow up on an idea he just had.
- Scott calls off their murder plan – only one murder per party, apparently.
- Gambit decides that he and Rogue don’t need to help Jubilee. Rogue just wants to go home and have some soup.
- Logan works out that the nerve gas that killed Shaw came from his own security systems.
- Back in the ballroom, everyone is accusing the 3K people. Scott and Psylocke work out that the crowd is being psychically manipulated. Astra and Joseph leave.
- Logan goes to the security room, where he finds Toad. Someone pretending to be Jubilee arrives, blasts Logan and escapes with Toad. Logan knows who it was and that they knew the blast wouldn’t do him any real damage. Logan pursues them and finds Toad with Empath, Destiny, Mystique and Mastermind, Daughter of Mastermind (Deceased), who are now apparently the new Brotherhood of Feeble Mutants. Side Note: Apparently, Wolverine killed Mastermind the Younger’s Dad, just because he tortured him for a few days.
- Mystique explained that she was able to turn Shaw’s security systems against him, triggering the nerve gas that killed him. Mastermind 2.0 created illusions of Shaw still being around after he was actually dead and Empath enflamed the emotions of the crowd against the 3K nutjobs. They intended to slip away, but the security systems went lockdown, so Toad went back to the security room to try to disable them.
- Destiny explains that they had to kill Shaw because he had recovered Forge’s X-Gene cancelling tech and intended to use it to cancel the powers of anyone who didn’t go along with his plans. They show their good faith by destroying their copy of the tech. They say that Shaw had copies of the tech stored around the world. Somehow, they now control all of Shaw’s assets and intend to use it to track down and destroy all the copies of Forge’s tech and build a new Brotherhood of Niceness to advance the prospects of mutantkind. They ask Logan not to tell anyone. He promises nothing but goes off to have a drink.
- Logan returns to Jubilee and tells her that he was following up a lead that uh, didn’t pan out, in a lie worthy of the Silver Age Superman telling Lois Lane that the fact that he never wears a hat proves that he isn’t Clark Kent. Jubilee is perfectly happy to blame it all on Astra and Joseph because they were stuck-up Jerky McJerkfaces.
- Emma tells Subby that they should just be friends and then asks one of her minions called Reginald from Graymatter (Is there a Baron of Graymatter?) to send a cab to take her and Kitty to some place where they can get coffee.
- Rogue tells Scott that she doesn’t want to go to any more of these galas and then asks Idie to be gentle with Ransom.
- Jubilee is aware that Logan is not telling her everything. He says that she’s better off not knowing (And maybe e wants to give her plausible deniability if it all comes out someday?)
- Epilady: Logan meets Emma for drinks a few days later. Logan says that he realized that Shaw wasn’t killed by the nerve gas because his nose hairs were undamaged, and that a massive psychic attack would have the same effects as the nerve gas. Essentially, he’s implying that Emma killed Shaw right before the New Brotherhood tried. Anyway, he assures Emma that he hasn’t told anyone about this and doesn’t plan to because Shaw deserved to die, so it’s OK that his murderer goes unpunished.
- OK, so let me see: Emma brain-blasts Shaw despite all the power-suppressors he had going, presumably right before she played around with Underwater Black Adam, who she used as an alibi. Immediately after that, Mystique’s tampering with the security systems causes them to blast the lifeless Shaw with nerve gas. Ten minutes after that, Mastermind the Second casts illusions that Shaw was still alive. Ten minutes after that, Logan and Jubilee find Shaw dead, but with intact nose hairs. Then the security alarms realize that Shaw is dead and go into lockdown. Uh-huh.
- So, what we’re left with is that the general mutant public think that Astra and Joseph killed Shaw. Astra and Joseph don’t care what they think. The Brotherhood of Mutant Halfwits thinks that they killed Shaw themselves, and Logan thinks that Emma did it, but doesn’t give a sh*t. Inspiring stuff.
Overall: This was interesting, for a certain definition of “interesting”. Once a year, I read an X-Men comic to remind myself why I don’t read more X-Men comics. This was this year’s example.
Replies
During the Krakoa Era (2019 or so up until 2024 or so) the X-Men settled in the living island of Krakoa and declared as an independent nation with the mission of being a safe haven for mutants with any past or background. That setup gave them access to weid plant-based architecture and technology.
They also established a ruling council of twelve high-profile mutants (many of which are well-known major criminals), a worldwide network of teleport flower gates that worked only for mutants, and diplomatic relations with an ancient community of Martian mutants (with Mars going by the name Arakko).
Oh, and they learned a way of ressurrecting mutants with the combined powers of five mutants, who became an elite clique with informal but significant political power.
Many of the stories of that time revolve around a direct conflict between the Krakoa community and a very capable and ambitious organization of human supremacists called Orchis.
It is a setup that I found intriguing at first and deeply disgusting at its tail end, as more and more important questions went without proper answers or examination while the power levels and plot holes just kept escalating like there was no tomorrow. It does not help that it took about a full year of very erratic stories for the collapse phase to conclude. Nor that it made nationalists and supremacists of nearly all named mutants, with barely any examination of what leaving their lives elsewhere behind them meant at a personal level.
Sebastian Shaw was killed by Emma Frost in the fifth and final issue of "X-Men: Black" back in 2018, but that was retconned away in the early phase of the Krakoa Era. He was indeed released very recently from Graymalkin Prison, which was a semi-clandestine private prison with shady government connections operating in what used to be the Westchester Xavier Mansion. That was a significant plot in the two main X-Men ongoings from the current, post-Krakoa era for about two years and was resolved fairly recently (a couple of months or so ago).
For a year and a half or so we had three core X-Men books (adjectiveless, Uncanny and Exceptional) that each were set in distinct geographic locales and each introduced their own new, previously unseen mutants who connected with the experienced X-Men of each book and got some form of mentoring from that crew. Ransom, who happens to be the cousin of Sunspot and an Argentinian citizen, is one of those and has been characterized as Wolverine's trainee (in the Uncanny X-Men book, written by Gail Simone and whose team is led by Rogue). It turned out that Idie (Temper) from Scott's team and a considerably more experienced X-Person, had been dating Ransom online and only recently they learned that both are X-Men to some extent. This is their first real in-person date.
Mister Sinister was overused quite a bit and got what I will describe briefly but unfairly as a very split personality during the Krakoa Era, and has already returned in the Exceptional X-Men book by Eve Ewing, somewhat back to normal.
Shawn killing Kitty (then going by "Kate") and her ressurrection being surprisingly difficult by the parameters operating during the Krakoa Era was indeed a major plot in the book "Marauders" (volume 1) of that era.
Scott is currently leader of the adjectiveless X-Men team, headquartered in Alaska. He is presumably happily married to Jean at the current time, but we have barely seen them together since the initial period of the post-Krakoa Era. The ostensible reason is Jean having an overwhelming sense of a cosmic purpose as the Phoenix right now. That was played with in a Phoenix solo book that ended around a year ago and that I consider to have been a failure despite very good intentions. Far as we have been shown on panel Scott and Psylocke were not flirting or anything before this issue. Between that and his return to homicidal tendencies, we are meant to wonder if his (and other people's) minds are being messed with during this one-shot. A possible explanation is raised late in this issue.
Astra is the villain who was eventually revealed to have cloned Joseph from Magneto. The two of them are members of the main villain group of the Scott/Alaska/adjectiveless X-Men team, which goes by "3K". The X-Virus is a thread from a recently visited alternate dystopic future which Scott's team is trying to avoid.
Crimson Command has very recently acquired a position of power within O*N*E, one of those gray organizations with some degree of governmental backing that can't quite decide whether it wants to attack mutants or protect humans from them. He is a supporting character-slash-villain in the Scott/Alaska/adjectiveless book right now.
Graymatter Lane was introduced in "X-Men United", the current Eve Ewing book now that Exceptional X-Men hs been cancelled. It has a somewhat wider focus than Exceptional did, but is still Emma and Kitty's home book as of now. It is some sort of virtual environment presumably created by Emma's telepathy with some help from a couple of the trainee mutants introduced in this era. Its exact properties are arguably inconsistently presented and do not necessarily make sense.
My general impression of the X-Men line is that it has become too fascinated with its own backstory for its continued commercial viability, and those drawbacks became worse during the Krakoa Era (which apparently was originally a pitch for an Eternals storyline - and it does fit better with the Eternals). This issue makes a pretty good job of confirming that impression, IMO.
Interesting stuff, Luis. I really appreciate the extensive background info that you have provided here. I was a big fan of the X-Men when I first started reading comics in the mid-1970s. As time passed and they became increasingly ubiquitous, the less interesting they became to me. I did enjoy the recent Ultimate X-Men series, largely because I'm something of a Peach Momoko mark and because it wasn't tied into the greater X-continuity.
Our opinions about the Krakoan era dovetail remarkably well, Luis -- that is, until I dropped the books for reasons you explain so well. Good to know that it ended exactly as I expected it to, and I didn't miss anything but further disappointment.
The last X-Men series I read were X-Men Forever (24 issues, 2009) and X-Men Forever 2 (16 issues 2010). Those series were a continuation of the Chris Claremont era and not considered a part of official continuity, but they are much more "X-Men" to me than the "Krakoa Era" Luis describes above. What he said about it apparently originally being a pitch for an Eternals storyline is interesting to me because I am currently reading Eternals (fifth series, 2021), and if ever there was a series that "has become too fascinated with its own backstory for its continued commercial viability," Eternals (2021) is it.
I think it works better for Eternals, though. They have far lesser ties to human society and are both long-lived and less subject to dramatic changes than the mutant heroes of Marvel; there are less of them and they come from an inherently more exalted perspective.
A major hurdle of being a X-Reader these days is that there are just too many mutants with too many varied and often wild powers and lengthy and convoluted backstories. Some of the most visible X-Men have had careers that resemble a pinball, as they continuously pivot from a dramatic stance to another, entirely different if perhaps equally dramatic one. It harms my ability to follow them and suspend my disbelief, because soon it becomes just too arbitrary and alien. Others enjoy a period of spotlight that may last a few months or a few years and then suddenly vanish for five, ten years or even more. It is difficult to engage on those stories without noticing that the relevance of characters is entirely variable out of writer and editor convenience.
That said, the A.X.E. crossover event is good reading IMO, even if the follow-up is not. It was published right before the start of "Fall of Krakoa" and features Iron Man, the X-Men and the Eternals.