(as told to Chris Fluit)
Hi. My name is Zoe Woodwind and I’m in Mrs. Church’s first grade class. We went on a field trip yesterday (transcriber’s note: it was actually last week, Zoe isn’t that good at estimating time yet). It was real exciting. We went to Avengers Mansion. We all rode in a big yellow school bus and I got to sit next to my best friend Katie.
Then we got off the bus. There was a big brick wall. Then there was a big gate. I thought maybe they had some mean dogs inside and that’s why they needed such a big wall and a big gate. But Bradley said that it was to keep the bad guys out like Mr. Doom and Kanga. Bradley’s one of the boys in my class. He has yellow hair and I think he’s cute.
A man opened the gate for us. He didn’t have any chair and he was a little bit fat but my mommy told me that I shouldn’t say that to people. He said his name was Jars. That’s a funny name. I wonder if he has a brother named Plates and a sister named Cups (transcriber’s note: his name was Jarvis and he’s the Avengers’ butler). He let us inside.
I asked him if there were any mean dogs and he said “No.” He said that the Avengers sometimes have a nice dog called Lockjaw and that Lockjaw has superpowers too and that Lockjaw can take people anywhere they want to go like Florida or space or something and that Lockjaw started his own group of Pet Avengers so that all of the animals can have adventures and stuff. Mr. Jars said that the Pet Avengers have a bird and a cat and a frog and a dragon. Even Bradley thought that was cool.
Peter asked Mr. Jars if they, um, how do they keep the bad guys away if they don’t have any mean guard dogs. Peter is another boy in my class. Mr. Jars said they had, um, defense systems. He told us to follow him and we walked up to the front door. He told us to stay at the bottom of the steps. He asked if one of the grown-ups would like to volunteer. I told my daddy to put up his hand and Mr. Jars picked him. My daddy likes to, um, chaperone (transcriber’s interpretation of what he thinks Zoe meant). Mr. Jars asked my daddy to walk up to the front door. He did. He went right up the steps but he didn’t get to the front door. These two big giant arms came out of the wall and grabbed him and picked him up and held him over our heads and he couldn’t push the doorbell or knock or nothing. Then the arms put him back. Mr. Jars said he turned off the security. That was pretty cool. I asked him if the arms could pick up my daddy again.
We went inside the mansion. It was so big. And there were pictures everywhere. They showed all of the people who have been Avengers before. My favorite is the Wasp. She’s very cute like a fairy or a pixie. I like pixies and I have all the Tinker Bell books. Katie said that her favorite is the Scarlet Witch because they both have brown hair.
Mr. Jars showed us the meeting room. It was kind of boring. It was just a big table with a lot of chairs and the letter A. Bradley climbed into a chair and pretended to be Captain America. We saw the monitor room. There were lots and lots of TVs but they were all showing the news. My mommy likes to watch the news but I like to watch cartoons.
We even went upstairs. That’s where the Avengers have their bedrooms. We weren’t allowed inside the bedrooms ‘cause they’re private. We saw two Avengers in the hallway. The lady had green skin and she was really big. The man had red sunglasses. They stopped and talked to us. The lady told us to stay in school. She said that she’s a lawyer and a superhero which is like really hard. They signed autographs for us and I put mine up on the tacky board by my desk in my bedroom when I got home.
Then it was time to go. We thanked Mr. Jars for the nice tour and he gave us cookies he had made all by himself. They were very good. The End.