It has recently come to my attention that my comic book collection is deficient in "Deadpool" comics; I have only two and I have read only one. To that end I have set out to correct this deficiency by reading Deadpool Team-Up by character "creator" Rob Liefeld. It has been 13 years since I last bought a Rob Liefeld comic book (2011's The infinite, because it was written by Robert Kirkman specifically for Liefeld to draw), and longer than that since I last bought a comic solely to ridicule it. But I used to be "the guy who reads bad comics so you don't have to." Let's see if I've still got it.
We'll start with the cover. Maybe Marvel has future plans to use this as the cover of a potential tpb collection, but for a first issue it's pretty deceptive.
- The Hulk - does not appear
- Major X - does not appear
- Ghost-Spider - does not appear
- Wolverine - appears four pages from the end
- Crystar - appears on the very last page
Regarding that "potential tpb collection" I mentioned, presumably Marvel has this entire series in the can; Liefeld is notorious for not delivering on promised series. Even The Infinite, an "ongoing" series written specifically for him, lasted only four issues. What this series is mostly is a return of the 1979 one-off character Dragon Lord (which was a repurposed Godzilla story).
Liefeld's art has not improved one whit since the last time I saw it, and his plot/script is riddled with clichés from sorces as diverse as Star Wars ("I will consume and digest you over a millenium") to Watchmen ("Cue dramatic slow-motion action pose") to old sayings ("Never brings swords to a gun fight"). Also, Liefeld's witty banter is not nearly as clever as he means for it to be. So, for main characters we've got Dragon Lord and Crystar. (Was there any call for these characters to be brought back? Are they going to be featured in a movie or something?) In addition to the characters on the cover which are not featured in the comics, we do have Lady Anime. (Who?) I'd like to tell you more about it, but there's not really that much more to tell. Next issue promises (wait for it)... Weirdworld. I'll betcha wanna run right out and buy this one, don'tcha?
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It turns out that Major X has appeared before, in Major X #0-6 in 2019. It was written by Liefeld, and he drew two issues. Whilce Portacio drew one, and Brent Peebles drew the rest. Apparently he's Alex Summers from Earth-19647. I'm sure I mentioned this in the Comics Guide of the time, but I didn't retain a jot of it.
Wow. Now that you mention it, I think I did buy Major X #1, but I forgot it completely, even that it existed. Yet another series Liefled did not finish.
I found this post (of mine) from April 9, 2019:
MAJOR X #1: I am bit ashamed of myself for buying this. I’m too old to buy a comic book just to make fun of it. OTOH, Rob Liefeld seldom disappoints in that respect. My LCS posted a sign beneath this one: “Limit 1 per customer,” so either his name still has cachet or the new X-title #1 speculator boost is still in effect. Or both. The story itself is all plot with little characterization or interesting dialogue (unless you include the Beast saying “Oh my stars and garters” or Wolverine saying “bub”). The story goes from the future to the early days of X-Force (so current continuity doesn’t have to be dealt with).
This title character comes from a future in which the “X-istence” is threatened. The founder, “X-ential,” is threatened. (“Essential”? “Existential”? I think “X-ential” is supposed to be a play on “essential,” but it’s a sloppy name.) Liefeld “borrows” some Kirby concepts and “improves” them. Instead of having a Mother Box, Major X rides a “Motherbike” which, instead of opening a “Boom Tube” opens a “warp slide.” Major X brings a character back from the future with him: a grey-furred Beast now called M’koy. Liefeld quotes Blue Oyster Cult lyrics and introduces a “new” character named ”Dreadpool.” (Don’t worry Deadpool fans; the “merc with a mouth” is there, too.)
Cable gets the best line: “This all feels a little familiar—is it just me?”
The final twist [SPOILER] is that Major X is revealed to be Alexander Nathanial Summers, Cable’s son.
OMG, it's all coming back to me!
The other "Deadpool" comic book I bought was a reprint of New Mutants #98 (the character's first appearance), but I have never been able to bring myself to read it.
CORRECTION: The reprint I was thinking of was of New Mutants #87, the first appearance of Cable (and even that is worth a pretty penny these days). However, for whatever reason, I do have original capies of New Mutants #98-100. I stopped buying New Mutants in the #30s, and the last and only individual issue I bought beyond that was #75 (by John Byrne). I guess I bought #98-100 because of the hype leading up to X-Force #1, but I don't hink I've ever read them. ("Buying new comics and not reading them is stupid.") I also bought the Marvel 85th Anniversary Special earlier this year, which also has Deadpool in it.
For my own part, to the best of my recollection, I have read only one "Deadpool" comic (although I have bought two).
The key phrase here is "to the best of my recollection," but I guess I've actually bought three. But wait! There's more! While sorting comics last week I came across copies of Wolverine Origins #21-25 which feature guess who? (I don't think I've read those, either.) What's more, #25 of that series features a reprint of New Mutants #98 on slick paper, so I guess there's no longer any reason not to read it.
Last night I read New Mutants #98 for the first time (at least pages 14-20, which are the ones that feature "the merc with a mouth"). It's pretty much what I expected, but I guess it wouldn't be fair for me to judge the entire issue based on just seven pages. Then I moved on to Wolverine: Origins #21-25. I remember this, now (not reading it; buying it). This series is so decompressed I decided to buy the entire storyline, then read it. But after I bought all five issues, I just sort of forgot. (I may have been buying this series in the first place for the Steve Dillon art.) Beyond that, I never read enough of writer Daniel Way's work to form an opinion (other than that it was decompressed). Because I knew it was going to be compressed, I decided to time myself reading each issue.
Here are the results:
Reading them all at once, I was better able to discern Way's pacing. The first three issues were one long, gratuitous fight scene, whereas the "meat" of the story was revealed in #24. It a good story for what it is, but it doesn't deliver enough bang for the buck, or my $16 as the case may be. (These comics were three bucks apiece, but the last one was $4 because of the additional reprint.) So that's $16 for 30 minutes worth of entertainment. Another way to look at this is story cost me a little more than 50¢ per minute. (YMMV depending on how fast you read.) Worth it?
ISSUE #2:
I usually buy Rob Liefeld comics (when I do buy them) just to ridicule the art. He doesn't usually write them himself, though, at least not the script. This issue is so banal, though, it's the verbal equivalent of his art. I was going to pull some dialogue to cite as an example, but I'd end up transcribing the entire issue. My perception is, perhaps, influenced by the fact I have just finished reading Planetary #27. Deadpool Team-Up #2 is on the opposite end of the intellectual spectrum. I feel stupider just having read it.
What are they doing with poor Crystar, Crystal Warrior? Leave him alone!
If you like Crystar, you probably don't wanna know.