Issue #1:
OK, this was the fourth of the books I had somewhat arbitrarily decided to follow. I have not read any off the various "Rainbow Brites Lanterns" books, so, I'm coming into this relatively ignorant. We start with a re-cap of Kyle Rayner's origin, in which he becomes a Green Lantern because the line at the men's room was too long. No sign of Shoved-in-a-Refrigerator Lass, so maybe they took the opportunity to write that particular bit of controversy out of continuity. We then cut to the present day, in outer space, where we see a Yellow Lantern, a Red Lantern and a Pink Lantern all being abandoned by their rings, which I didn't know power rings could do that, but whatever. We then cut back to Earth where Kyle saves a construction worker and a little kid mocks him for the no-talent bum that he is. Then the yellow, red and pink rings - joined by blue, purple and orange rings - all converge on Kyle, and then a Pink Lantern, who calls herself "Fatality" who I thought was a villain who hated Green Lanterns, a Yellow Lantern that I don't know who they are, a Red Lantern called Bleez who I recognize from the Red Lanterns book, and a Purple Lantern that I don't know who they are all converge on Kyle and what will the little moron do now?
Wow, there wasn't really all that much to that story, was there? Not alot of explanation as to what's going on, either. The art was real nice, though.
So, what do I now know about the Rainbow Brites Lanterns?
1)Red Lanterns - well, I already knew they stood for being mad all the time.
2)Yellow Lanterns - apparently stand for trying to terrorize people and failing catastrophically.
3)Pink Lanterns - apparently stand for being women with large breasts half hanging out.
4)Purple Lanterns - apparently stand for showing up at the end of the book and talking gibberish.
5)Orange Lanterns - apparently stand for not getting to show up in this issue at all.
6)Blue Lanterns - apparently stand for also not getting to show up in this issue at all.
7)Green Lanterns - aaparently stand for being little whiners WHO AREN'T FIT TO LACE ALAN SCOTT'S BOOTS!
No idea who the "New Guardians" are, no one by that name shows up in this book.
Replies
The Baron said:
I read it and liked it. There wasn't much to it but I like the set up.
The yellow lantern, I believe, is Akrillo. He was featured mostly during the Sinestro Corps arc a few years ago. During that he had an awesome battle with Killowog.
The purple lantern, I don't know his name. He is the second in command of that corps though and was featured during the Blackest Night.
There are male Pink Lanterns Star Sapphires, but they're combing their hair right now.
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Issue #2:
OK, so Dweeb Lantern fights the other Lanterns, and then a Blue Lantern called Saint Walker Texas Ranger shows up, and helps Kyle bravely run away, away, hoping to lure the other Lanterns away from Earth. Still no sign of the Orange Lantern yet, but he does get a mention. Kyle and the Blue Lantern get to Oa, but the Space Smurfs don't allow foreigners, so Kyle goes down to the surface alone to find his buddy Ganthet, but the other Cybermen Guardians have "removed" Ganthet's emotions and then they get all snotty with Kyle and try to take the rings, but then the rings all plant themselves on Kyle's fingers and turn him into the Black-and-White Cookie Lantern and what will become of our "hero" now?
Interesting. Still way too "decompressed" for my tastes. The Guardians were always a little high-handed and "superior", but when did they become such complete smurfholes?
Issue #3:
OK, so Rayner goes nuts and attacks the Guardians but starts to burn out and the other rings abandon him except for the ornage and green ones, and the Guardians kick him out of the Corps but have trouble getting his green ring away from him and then the orange ring turns out to be something called "Glomulus" that asks for Kyle's help and then the other Lanterns from last issue show up but the Guardians beat them all and then at the end the Orange Lantern show up and stansa on a Guardian's head and what the hell was that all about?
Oddly enough, I'm still enjoying this book, even though I don't have the slightest clue what's supposed to be going on.
The Baron said:
So he becomes the Jack O'Lantern?
Issue #4:
Still following this - the Orange Lantern apparently has a Guardian for a slave - this is where I miss out not having followed the Various Colored Lanterns saga, since I have no idea how that happened. The book has alot of scattershot fighting with the Space Smurfs, and Kyle decides to rebel against them for some reason, and then Kyle and the other Lanterns are confronted with something called the "Orrery", which is where I thought the Monitors lived, but we shall see. Come on, something-that-makes-sense, happen!
I've decided to drop this book - it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere.