In.
Will McPhail
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2021
This is New Yorker cartoonist McPhail's first graphic novel. It is evidently semi-autobiographical: young illustrator Nick can't connect with people. The opening scene shows him seeking out a bar: they have names like "Your Friends Have Kids Bar," serving "Weaponized Self-Awareness and Cocktails." He really has a hard time with small talk, but he somehow clicks with an oncologist named Wren. Yet even after having sex with her he struggles to feel anything, and he has the same distance from his neighbors, his mother Hannah, his sister, and his nephew.
He keeps trying, though, and finally pushes through just performing to make an actual connection with a plumber working in his apartment (the key being, "words that matter"). When that happens the palette expands from black and white to color: first, the big googly eyes of the characters expand to include a colored iris, which is followed by several pages of full color wordless exposition illustrating Nick's journey. After striking out with his sister and Wren, he makes a connection with his nephew, then with several people he knows.
At this point the story takes dark turn. Nick finally makes a connection with his mom, but only because she has cancer. When he and his sister accompany her to her medical appointment to discuss options, her oncologist is Wren. Of course Wren turns the case over to another doctor, and the story largely turns to Hannah's treatments and her slow decline (with the support of her family). After the funeral Nick meets with Wren. When she pushes him to say what he misses about his mother, he answers "It's not what I miss. It's the stuff that hadn't happened yet...I was going to know her." A final beautiful color sequence shows Wren's understanding as she visits the memory palace that Nick had always visualized when thinking about his mom. It is a poignant ending that feels full circle, despite a narrative that is sometimes not completely linear.
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