This little blast from the past from the Ask Mr. Silver Age column first appeared in CBG #1590 (May 7, 2004):
A salute to Legion rejects!
The Legion’s American Idol-style review process turned up
some darn nifty heroes--and some that were less so.
Dear Mr. Silver Age,
Hey, cat! I dig the range of super-powers represented by The Legion of Super-Heroes! Do they allow every super-powered teen to join, or do they have strict requirements?
Rick J.
An Army base in New Mexico
Mr. Silver Age says: You might not think it was all that tough to become a Legionnaire, Rick, considering the iffy powers displayed by some of them. But in fact, The Legion had strict rules about who could join. Although frankly, most of the heroes we actually saw try out for membership were, on the whole, not too tough to reject.
The Legion’s rules about accepting new members were spelled out in their Constitution, which was handily summarized in The Amazing World of DC Comics #9 (Nov-Dec 75), the fanzine’s special Legion issue. First, the hero had to be less than 18 physical years old. The “physical” was important because Superboy, Supergirl and Mon-El had been born thousands of years before they joined but had the physical bodies of teens.
This was changed when that dastardly Vorm (aka Dynamo-Boy) joined in Adventure Comics #330 (Mar 65), expelled all the other members and signed up The Legion of Super-Villains (after a few other tryouts). The Legion used that amendment to its advantage when they all began to age, so Superman could visit the adult group in Adventure #354 (Mar 67).
When and why they stopped accepting new, younger members and decided to become the Adult Legion is hard to say, but I imagine it was about the time Saturn Girl turned 18.
The Legion supposedly accepted one new member per year in its early days. AWODCC says the one-per-year rule lasted until Supergirl joined, when the rule was changed to one boy and one girl. In Adventure #317 (Feb 64), we saw that The Legion had again altered its program, reviewing candidates at each meeting, right after the automated reading of its Constitution. Fun times.
Legionnaires also had to have a natural power that did not duplicate those of any other member. That meant you couldn’t use weapons or devices to generate your power.
In addition, if everyone from your planet had adapted in a way that resulted in what might be considered a super-power, it was first-come, first-served at the Legion clubhouse. Frankly, a Legion full of Superboys and Mon-Els would be more formidable than one with Superboy, Matter-Eater Lad and Bouncing Boy, but The Legion was big on diversity (except when it came to Supergirl).
The Constitution also explained that candidates underwent tests, those wacky situations editor Mort Weisinger’s comics always created that put a hero in dire peril, only to have it later revealed that everyone was just joking around.
Once candidates passed the test, their membership was voted on, with a two-thirds total needed for acceptance. I’d hate to be the guy who passed the wacky initiation rite only to have 60 percent vote for me! Fortunately, that never came up.
The recruitment process was first explained in “The Secret Origin of Bouncing Boy!” in Adventure #301 (Oct 62). In that story (which we were erroneously told took place at the clubhouse “in the 21st century”), The Legion held one of its regular cattle calls for new members. It was not unlike American Idol, with each hero presenting his credentials to the review board.
The notion that Matter-Eater Lad, Shrinking Violet and Bouncing Boy were sitting in judgment of the validity of other heroes’ powers has me rolling on the floor laughing. I can just see M-E Lad, doing his best Simon Colwell imitation, saying “That power is ghastly! You should sue your parents!” When M-E Lad or BB says that to you, then you have to believe them, because they look in the mirror every day.
In fact, that first audition tale featured Bouncing Boy inspiring the candidates by telling them how he became a member. His selection for this presentation was random from among all the members, but he was a good choice. Let’s face it, no matter how stirring BB’s tale was, if he had what it took, then most of the rest of us do, too.
In truth, the level of competency among those we saw trying out for membership in The Silver Age made the losers on American Idol look supremely talented. And I’m including mega-losing Idol contestant William Hung in that group. The quality level was parodied in Secret Origins #46 (Dec 89), when the quintessential loser, Arm Fall-Off Boy, applied.
Lester Spiffany (not shown) had the dubious distinction of being the first reject fans ever saw, in #301. He was the son of an Earth jewelry-store owner who thought he could buy his way onto the team with the super-power of being really rich. They pointed him toward his rocketship and he flew away, cursing them. That one wasn’t a tough call.
Neither was the decision on Storm Boy, who tried out in that same issue. His storm powers turned out to be controlled by a weather device hidden in his pocket. Triplicate Girl used her power to show him the door—and let’s face it, if Triplicate Girl can give you the boot, you really don’t have much going for you.
Sadly, we never saw the tryouts in that issue for a pretty redhead with a bouffant hairdo that would make Marge Simpson jealous or the curly-haired blonde guy in the snazzy red and purple outfit. But neither apparently made the cut.
Neither did any of the losers and wanna-bes profiled below, compiled with the help of a list created by Ray Chan in Amazing Heroes #46 (May 1,1984). They’re listed in chronological order of their appearances in Adventure Comics.
Antennae Boy, #305 (Feb 63): A guy with two cane-shaped antennae on each of his gigantic ears, AB could receive radio broadcasts from any station in any time period and apparently play several out of his ears simultaneously. Fortunately, he admitted he couldn’t control the power, so The Legion could bounce him for that reason and not the more obvious one of being useless.
Dynamo Kid, #305: He was a reporter who faked lightning powers and got caught.
Night Girl, Chlorophyll Kid, Stone Boy, Fire Lad and Polar Boy, #306 (Mar 63): These five rejected heroes banded together to become The Legion of Substitute Heroes, as explained in my columns in CBG #1535-1536. Frankly, all but Stone Boy had powers I’d consider worthy of inclusion (and way better than some actual members). Polar Boy ultimately did become a Legionnaire.
Unnamed Reject #1, #307 (Apr 63): He injected himself with chemicals so he could radiate green rays, which was great for camouflage, at least in Viet Nam.The Legion decided they didn’t have many battles there.
Unnamed Reject #2, #307: He could project any event he’d seen onto a screen using his camera eye. He thought he’d make a great witness, but The Legion explained that courts wouldn’t consider his eyeballs to be credible testimony.
Rainbow Girl, #309 (Jun 63): Sadly, we didn’t see her try out, we just saw her ushered out the door. The rainbow aura around her head only hinted at what colorful powers she had.
Jungle King, #309 (Jun 63): He used hypno-mental commands to control animals—more or less. He lost his concentration during his tryout, letting a six-legged, tiger-like borlat nearly take a bite out of him. Next.
Ronn Karr, #314 (Nov 63): He could flatten himself really thin. The Legion decided this wasn’t as valuable as eating anything in the universe or being bouncy.
Alaktor, #314: He was a spy who faked an attempt to join by showing off his fancy super-belt. After getting the boot, he revealed (to readers) that his belt actually had taken pictures of the clubhouse’s security devices. The fiend!
Rann Antar, #317 (Feb 64): He had a formula that could make feathers heavy. Hmm, no natural talent and a power that was similar but weaker than Star Boy’s? Next.
Radiation Roy, #320 (May 64): This wealthy lad irradiated himself so he could give off paralyzing radiation. But he couldn’t control the power and was nixed despite his catchy name.
Spider Girl, #323 (Aug 64): Her hair could elongate to create webs. She, too, couldn’t control her power, so she didn’t even need a spider-sense to know she was gone.
Double Header, #323: He had two heads! That’s it! And they argued with each other! Matter-Eater lad was looking better all the time.
Quite a few new candidates tried to join when Dynamo-Boy arrived, and the Legion would've been better off picking one of them. Any one of them. But it would have been a difficult choice, with such fine candidates as:
Eye-ful Ethel, #330 (Mar 65): She could see in all directions, but she couldn’t see that this power was a loser.
The Mess, #330: He could attract dirt. Even Stone Boy was laughing.
Dynamo-Boy impressed Cos by re-energizing a feeble old man. No word on why a feeble old man was hanging around Legion HQ. Maybe DB brought him along for his performance. Maybe he was Look-Like-A-Feeble-Old-Man Lad. We'll never know.
The hits continued when Dynamo-Boy went looking for replacements after he exiled all the other Legionnaires (long story). Among those he considered were;
Golden Boy, #331 (Apr 65): He could change anything into gold. Since it was Dynamo-Boy who rejected him, maybe he should’ve reapplied. Then again, maybe not.
Polecat, #331: He smelled, and not just with his nose. Dynamo-Boy had the same reaction as the real Legion would have had.
Animal Lad, #331: He could turn humans into beasts. He was rejected by Dynamo-Boy because he couldn’t be tempted into crime, but I’m thinking The Legion wouldn’t have been impressed, either.
The Tusker, #331: He could project two teeth as a weapon, but they got stuck in a tree, immobilizing him. Dynamo-Boy rejected him, and The Legion wouldn’t have argued.
Fortunately for Dynamo-Boy,The Legion of Super-Villains showed up to try out, and his problems were solved, more or less.
Calamity King, #342 (Mar 66): He could cause disasters. The Legion wasn’t thrilled, especially after Star Boy shook his hand, broke The Legion’s code against killing and was expelled. Oops.
Color Kid, #342: He could change the color of anything. Not even Triplicate Girl was willing to trade powers. Brainiac Five suggested he join The Subs, so he did.
That litany of goofballs apparently made The Legion decide the roster was full, and there were no more Adventure tryouts. At least, we didn’t see any more until The Legion moved into the pages of Superboy. Then a few more candidates tried their luck:
Porcupine Pete, #201 (Mar-Apr 74): He couldn’t control the quills that he could eject. Didn’t these guys ever practice?
Infectious Lass, #201: She could infect anyone with any type of germ. What a surprise, she, too, couldn’t completely control her power, so The Legion didn’t have to think about the potential there for making villains start to sneeze uncontrollably.
Molecule Master, #201: He could harness atomic energy. That wasn’t bad, but he actually was a Time Trapper android sent to destroy The Legion, so he didn’t really work out.
The most interesting rejects showed up in Superboy #212 (Oct 75). A group from the home planets of some of The Legionnaires where everyone had the same power came to challenge the first-come rule. The Legion admitted they’d made an exception for Supergirl, but otherwise, that was the way the cookie crumbled.
Most intriguing was Calorie Queen. A Bismollian like Matter-Eater Lad, she found a way to divert some of the energy from what she ate to make her stronger. No doubt the Legionnaires wondered if they could retroactively reject a member, but they didn’t bring it up.
The others—Chameleon Kid, Esper Lass, Magno Lad, Micro Lad and Phantom Lad—also were stronger than their Legion counterparts of Chameleon Boy, Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, Shrinking Violet and Phantom Girl, respectively. But The Legion members showed the wanna-bes that it took more than stronger super-powers to be a true Legionnaire. The resolution wasn’t as strong as it could’ve been, and it didn’t make The Legion consider the value of this goofy edict, but at least it was finally addressed.
Two final characters tried out for the team in Superboy #218 (Jul 76). Quake Kid, we will assume, could cause earthquakes, which might not be all that helpful if you were standing near him. Absorbency Boy could absorb super-powered energy from other super beings, kind of like The X-Men’s pal, The Mimic. I imagine that didn’t create a very stable power to rely on.
Actually, a third character tried out in that issue, too. Infectious Lass returned for another try, having ramped up her power so she could cause full-fledged epidemics. That’s not all that helpful—and her control hadn’t improved, as was shown when Quake Kid touched her and doubled over with stomach pains.
Even so, it was good to see that you couldn’t keep a good Legion reject from trying again and again. And, sadly, you couldn’t keep the bad ones from showing up at the clubhouse door, either.
-- MSA
Replies
Bouncing Boy's origin is still one of the stupidest I've even heard of, except for maybe Chemo's.
I also still think that Chuck made the team because he was a fun guy, not because his bouncing powers were so awesome.
As for Luornu...well, she did have a distinct power.
I always loved how the Legion could be such tactless a***holes when rejecting people. I remember a parody of this kind of scene in Justice League Europe Annual #2 in which the Blue Jay (himself a pastiche of Marvel's Wasp) was rejected for Legion memebership and ended up with the Subs.
Would you forgive a quibble, Mr SA? Technically, Supergirl was the first rejected member we saw.
Porcupine Pete might've made a good member, if he'd been represented as having gained control of his powers. Granted, I don't know his power would've been all that useful without writer contrivance: but he could have added variety to the action scenes.
Sure, but it's definitely a quibble, because the reason Supergirl couldn't be admitted was temporary, and they knew it. So "rejecting" her was pretty dumb, they should have told her to come back in a couple days. We could argue that Superboy was rejected, too, since they told him he was. Those Legionnaires were a laugh a minute.
It's really surprising how many useless super-powers there were out there, and how many of them showed up on the Legion's door. I often wondered if there was an entire planet of Double-Headers, or if he was the only one. It'd be a tough thing to hide in your secret identity.
-- MSA
I do like the idea that some powers ARE useless. It's like the Deuces in the Wild Cards books. Sure, some people get to fly and fire energy blasts, but why wouldn't some people get the power to grow hair at will or move a penny with their mind? (Rising Stars showed how potent THAT could be)
Randy Jackson said:
He wouldn't exactly dispose of it. Once he's swallowed it, he's got a stomach full of Green K. This means that Superboy can't get anywhere near him, unless maybe Tenzil also also super-control of his digestive tract (hey, plenty of sillier things happened in Silver Age Legion stories!). If so, he then eats some lead, and uses his gut to encapsulate the Green K in a lead sheath while it's inside him.
Actually, this raises another question: what effect do Bismollian digestive processes have on Kryptonite? Is it denatured, eventually becoming harmless? Or does it pass through, retaining its properties? If the latter is true ... well, I really don't like to think about the resulting output material.
Maybe Bismollian digestive tracts completely break down and absorb what comes to them.
Presumably MEL's digestive tract breaks down the Kryptonite into its constituent parts, which would be harmless to Kryptonians--the inert Krypton gas is released in his farts.
Either that or MEL's digestive tract is a wormhole to another universe.
Looks as if that two-thirds, one-hero-one-vote rule was just fluff. You'll note that every member had the right to summarily give 'em the gong so as to get rid of the chaff in one panel.
Sun Boy, Shrinking Violet and Bouncing Boy were all rejected in their first appearance in Action Comics #276 (My'61) in favor of Brainiac 5 and Supergirl. Like the Maid of Steel, they all got in on their second tries.
Wildfire was also rejected in Superboy #195 but he made the team in #202.
Absorbency Boy would return as the xenophobic and morally conflicted Earth Man, leading a team of Legion rejects as the new Justice League (Storm Boy, Radiation Roy, Tusker, Spider Girl and Golden Boy) all with more savage and twisted looks. (Action #858-863).
Both Infectious Lass and Porcupine Pete would join the Legion of Substitute Heroes while Antennae Boy and Doubleheader would make up their auxiliary branch! *YIKES!*
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