Hellfire Gala 2023 (SPOILERS)

Carnage at the Hellfire Gala!

“We interrupt The Adventures of Supergirl to being you this special report on events at this year’s Hellfire Gala. This is Wally Ballou reporting.”

We begin “X weeks ago” with Emma and Scott, sitting in a tree, D-I-S-C-U-S-S-I-N-G when and how to break it to Kamala that she’s a mutant. Emma is patronizing as all get out. Also, when was the rule made at Marvel that Scott’s costume must look as though it were designed for use in what my Dad would’ve called “deviant sexual practices”?
We cut to the aftermath of Kamala’s “resurrection”, where we learn that she is both and Inhuman and a mutant, which was thought to be impossible, I guess. Emma tries to guilt-trip Kamala into “coming out” as a mutant for propaganda purposes. So, Emma hasn’t changed, still manipulating children for her own selfish purposes.
There is a character called “Jumbo Carnation”, who is the X-Men’s fashion designer, I guess, who is not at all a gay stereotype. He is deeply involved with a lighthouse keeper who looks just like Captain Avatar from StarBlazers.
Scott says that “Xavier backs up mutant minds as often as possible”. With or without their permission? Obviously not with Kamala’s permission because she didn’t know she was a mutant! Emma states that she will re-write the Khan family’s memories to smooth things over, which maybe isn’t as reassuring as she thinks it is.
Kamala wonders that if her “embiggening” is her Inhuman power, what is her mutant power, which we don’t get an answer to, here.
Scott gets called away to an emergency at the Treehouse, whatever that is. Jean is wearing a ridiculous outfit for the Gala. She backs Juggernaut as a potential X-Man. I guess he turned good at some point.
Kate Pryde is standing around drinking when she observes a quarrel between Mystique and Destiny. I guess it’s a plot point that Kate can’t pass through the Krakoan stargates or whatever they are. Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the X-Men comics regularly in over thirty years, but I have a hard time connecting “Kate” with the “Kitty” I remember.
Bobby Drake has a – boyfriend, I guess – called Romeo, who I know nothing about.
Charlie X gives Kamala a softer, more reasonable version of the hard sell that Emma did about why they’d like Kamala to come out as a mutant when she’s ready.
Kamala meets Rasputin IV, a mutant from the future. (Mutants from the future show up in X-Men stories like Green Kryptonite meteors do in Silver Age Supergirl stories.) R-IV hero-worships Kamala, which weirds her out a bit.
Illyana rousts two gate-crashers called Wyn and Dimitri, who are apparently from some upcoming new Marvel series that I won’t be reading.
Wilson Fisk is there, dressed as a Roman emperor, which fits his character. Sam Wilson tells some mutants that I don’t recognize that he’s not wild about Fisk being there. Sam, Carol, Thor. Wanda, T’Challa and the Vision then get called away to deal with an incident in Washington, DC. Rogue also leaves to answer a distress call from Steve Rogers. Now that she and the most powerful non-mutant heroes have been lured away, the fun can begin.
Jean strongly suggests that Synch and Talon (whoever they are) should lead this year’s team of X-Men. I question turning the team over every year. A year isn’t nearly enough time to learn now to become an effective team to my mind.
The new X-Men team is announced. They are Cannonball (He was living out in space the last time I saw him.), Talon, Synch, Prodigy, Frenzy (none of whom I know anything about), Jubilee (Is she still a vampire?), Dazzler and the Juggernaut.
The new team is immediately sneak-attacked by a robot called “Nimrod”. (I know that Nimrod was a mighty hunter in the Bible, but the name “Nimrod” is associated in my mind with Elmer Fudd.) He does make mildly amusing jokes, though. Talon and Synch get out of the way, Juggernaut survives because he’s the Juggernaut, Jubilee is badly hurt (Nimrod soon finishes her off – unless she’s still a vampire, in which case, she’s fine.) and Cannonball, Dazzler, Prodigy and Frenzy are “killed”. I’m not referring to this particular artist, but I wonder how artists feel about drawing these graphic scenes of bloody massacres. I wonder if some of them enjoy it. I feel that even if I could draw, I’d have a hard time drawing scenes of dismemberment and mayhem.
Illyana suddenly discovers that she can’t teleport. We are told that the heels have been poisoning her with power-suppressing nanites. If they could do that, why didn’t they do that to as many mutants as they could?
Bobby Drake attacks and hurts Nimrod, who infects him with something that “kills” him. Isn’t there an Iceman comic starting next month? That kinda destroys his “death” here, doesn’t it?
Jean throws Juggernaut at Nimrod, while the Stark Sentinels (whoever they are) attack.
Doctor Stasis Sephiroths in with a woman called Karima Shapandar (whoever she is) and taunts Chuck with the news that he and M.O.D.O.K. have tainted all of the medicines that the Krakheads have been selling to the muggles and can use them to kill them all anytime they like.
Kate and Strong Guy (Comic Book Guy: “Least. Imaginative. Name. Ever.”) take down a Stark Sentinel, which apparently not as invincible as advertised. Also, why was Stark building Sentinels?
Karima smacks the Kingpin around, and somewhere Matt Murdock and Peter Parker are getting a good chuckle out of that. Neither of them is here, though. Overall, there are fewer “celebrity” guests than last year. Who can blame them for staying away? I don’t know why anyone would go to one of these things at this point. I assume that the heels wouldn’t have tried this crap if Doom had been there.
Kamala and Rasputin IV take down another Stark Sentinel. Seriously, man, Stark got ripped off.
Nimrod knocks Jughead Into a tower, which is an Important Tower, for some unguessable reason.
Jean rescues a bunch of the babyfaces and threatens the heels, but Moira X does a run-in and stabs her in the back with a knife poisoned with “Blightswill”, which sounds like an energy drink that probably didn’t focus group well. Also, the call to the Treehouse was a trap, and Scott got the crap beat out of him.
The mutants go on the charge, but Moira X pulls a knife on Chuckie and threatens to have M.O.D.O.K. kill all the mundanes who used the Krakodawn medicines. The Chuckster stops the mutants psychically and surrenders to the heels.
Doc Stasis tells Charlie-Boy that they’ve hacked all the Krakoatoan stargates so that they point off Earth, and that he wants Chuckles to order all the mutants to walk into the gates. He further elucidates that if any dirty mutants return to Earth, he’ll start killing humans in increasingly large numbers.
Jean reaches out psychically to Firestar and asks her to be a spy within Orchis. Jean implants a memory into Stasis’ head that Angelica reached out to join Orchis back before she joined the X-Men and that she’s been feeding the heels intel. Sure hope that it never occurs to him (or one of his pals) to think about what information she’s been passing along, or what she hopes to get out of it. Is she theoretically hoping to be the last mutant killed, or something? Jean tells Angelica that she can throw the Beast under the bus if she needs to. Is he evil now? I’m not up to date on him.
Xavier pushes the Kraklings to walk into the nearest stargates. Elsewhere, someone called Mother Righteous has stolen Kraksylvania’s Atlantic substation for some mysterious purposes of her own.
A handful of mutants are able to resist using a “Red Triangle” method, including Kurt, Kate, Emma, and Forge.
Scott senses Jean’s “death” as he’s being hauled away in an ecnalubma.
Logan can also resist, and Jean reaches out with her “last” thought to wake him up so he can slaughter some of the heel’s guards.
In a really disturbing scene, Charles tries to mentally “push” Mystique. She resists him, and reacts badly, falling out a window onto some rocks before being swept out to sea.
Several other mutants are using the Red Triangle to resist, including Talon, Bishop, Synch, Rasputin IV, several others that I don’t recognize, and, somehow, Kamala. I guess this Red Triangle stuff must be real easy to teach very quickly, ‘cause she sure hasn’t had much time to learn it.
A mutant called “Lourdes” teleports them away, with the Kingpin tagging along for the ride. They end up in the basement of the old Hellfire club in New York City. Lourdes “dies” from the strain of teleporting so many people.
Back at the party, Nimrod has finished off Jugband. In NYC, the mutants discover that the stargates are closed against them.
Once again, back at the party, Stasis has his goons finish off the remaining mundane guests. Moira X prepares to finish off the Professor, but Rogue re-appears and rescues him. He has Rogue take him to Pacific Krakoa. He thought that all of the mutants that went through the stargates were supposed to go to Arakko (a.k.a. Mars), but because he can’t “reach” them, he believes them to be all dead. Personally, I has me doubts. Chuck has Rogue leave him alone on Krakoa, telling her to avenge the “dead” mutants.
Back in NYC, Emma seems to be cutting a deal with Fisk. Kate falls through a Stargate, surprisingly. We end with her appearing in Jerusalem, surrounded by Orchis goons.

Overall: This had some good moments, but it was fairly grim, overall. I get that this is being set up to be their low point so that the mutants can make their Superman Comeback*. I assume that this is the last of these Galas that we’ll be seeing, since I cannot conceive that anyone would ever go to one again, not even in Comic Book Land. I can’t help thinking how amusing it would be if Supergirl had been there and beaten all the heels before they could even say what their plans were.

*This is a pro wrestling term for when the babyface wrestler is getting the crap beaten out of him by the heel, but then, the fans’ cheers inspire him, giving him new strength and making him invincible, after which the heel’s attacks no longer affect him and he soon wins. This happened in almost every match that Hulk Hogan wrestled as a babyface.

I dropped the X-books at the point where Jonathan Hickman had planned for the Krakoa era to end, but Marvel extended it for sales reasons. It was clear to me that some wheel-spinning was in the offing and I wasn't in the market for that, considering there are approximately 5,000 X-Men books every month. I did enjoy the Hickmanesque bizarro world we had for a little while, though.

Anyway, being versed in the basics, I've been able to sort-of keep up with what's going on via press release in the "Comics Guide" section. I'll help where I can:

We begin “X weeks ago” with Emma and Scott, sitting in a tree, D-I-S-C-U-S-S-I-N-G when and how to break it to Kamala that she’s a mutant. Emma is patronizing as all get out. Also, when was the rule made at Marvel that Scott’s costume must look as though it were designed for use in what my Dad would’ve called “deviant sexual practices”?

I have disliked all of Scott's outfits except one, the one he put on in X-Men #39. The '90s one, the one with the useless straps and pouches that the cartoon made popular, is one of the ones I hate the most. Have you seen his "Captain Krakoa" look?

The funny thing here is that one of the bad guys stole this so he could frame the X-Men by wearing it and doing bad things. The joke's on him, because I imagine this suit will destroy your friendships, ruin your sex life and possibly grow moss in your ears.

We cut to the aftermath of Kamala’s “resurrection”, where we learn that she is both and Inhuman and a mutant, which was thought to be impossible, I guess. Emma tries to guilt-trip Kamala into “coming out” as a mutant for propaganda purposes. So, Emma hasn’t changed, still manipulating children for her own selfish purposes.

Emma turned X-Man ally and antihero going back to the Morrison era, and she was initially one of Xavier's and Magneto's more reliable votes on the Quiet Council, but she had a falling-out with Chuck and is best friends with Kate Pryde now. Anyway, good eye on the "manipulating children for her own selfish purposes" bit. Some leopards never change their spots, do they?

There is a character called “Jumbo Carnation”, who is the X-Men’s fashion designer, I guess, who is not at all a gay stereotype. He is deeply involved with a lighthouse keeper who looks just like Captain Avatar from StarBlazers.

Jumbo Carnation was introduced way back in 2002 by none other than Grant Morrison. You'd think a guy who says he's gender-queer and non-binary would know better than to create such an appalling gay stereotype. Maybe it was a simpler time.

Scott says that “Xavier backs up mutant minds as often as possible”. With or without their permission? Obviously not with Kamala’s permission because she didn’t know she was a mutant! Emma states that she will re-write the Khan family’s memories to smooth things over, which maybe isn’t as reassuring as she thinks it is.

Luis explained the mutant backups already.

As to non-mutants? I didn't read the story where Xavier & The Five resurrected Captain America {"Judgment Day," which I am trade-waiting), but they obviously do back up some minds that aren't mutant. Honestly, you can't trust Chuck any farther than Broo can throw him, so he could announce tomorrow that he has clones of every world leader on Arakko and it wouldn't be out of character.

Kamala wonders that if her “embiggening” is her Inhuman power, what is her mutant power, which we don’t get an answer to, here.

I suspect her mutant powers will be identical to the ones she has on the TV show.

Scott gets called away to an emergency at the Treehouse, whatever that is. Jean is wearing a ridiculous outfit for the Gala. She backs Juggernaut as a potential X-Man. I guess he turned good at some point.

The Treehouse is a gigantic tree that Krakoa grew in New York City to serve as the X-Men's HQ there.

Juggie turned the corner to good guy/anti-hero some time ago. I have a miniseries where that might have happened, but I haven't read it. I suspect when or if I do, it will explain his change of heart, and also why a non-mutant is allowed to hang out on Krakoa. (The gates do not allow non-mutant travel, but he's Juggernaut, so conceivably he walked there.) Anyway, I saw him in the background on Krakoa when I was still reading the X-books, so he's been there a while.

Everybody wears ridiculous outfits at the gala. Many fashionistas think they're high-fashion and cool as hell, but I am not among that number.

Kate Pryde is standing around drinking when she observes a quarrel between Mystique and Destiny. I guess it’s a plot point that Kate can’t pass through the Krakoan stargates or whatever they are. Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the X-Men comics regularly in over thirty years, but I have a hard time connecting “Kate” with the “Kitty” I remember.

Luis explained Kitty and the gates.

Today's Kate is a violent pirate, bisexual, loves to fight and drink, has "KILL SHAW" tattooed on her knuckles ... yeah, she's pretty unrecognizable from the naif she was through about 2005. That role is now played by Gabby Kinney, who is a clone of Laura Kinney, who is a clone of Wolverine.

Bobby Drake has a – boyfriend, I guess – called Romeo, who I know nothing about.

Iceman has been established as gay for a while, and I remember a boyfriend in some story or other, but I don't remember the bf's name. Might have been Romeo. Might have been Romeo's predecessor.

Charlie X gives Kamala a softer, more reasonable version of the hard sell that Emma did about why they’d like Kamala to come out as a mutant when she’s ready.

In other words, Xavier is manipulating a child to do what he wants by assuming the role of a concerned mentor. Again, some leopards don't change their spots.

Mutants from the future show up in X-Men stories like Green Kryptonite meteors do in Silver Age Supergirl stories.

It's funny because it's true.

Rasputin IV hero-worships Kamala, which weirds her out a bit.

We saw that same bit recently in the Star Trek crossover between Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks.

Illyana rousts two gate-crashers called Wyn and Dimitri, who are apparently from some upcoming new Marvel series that I won’t be reading.

They are going to be part of Hickman's upcoming G.O.D.S crossover. They may even be G.O.D.S., for all I know. Whatever G.O.D.S. are.

Wilson Fisk is there, dressed as a Roman emperor, which fits his character. Sam Wilson tells some mutants that I don’t recognize that he’s not wild about Fisk being there. Sam, Carol, Thor. Wanda, T’Challa and the Vision then get called away to deal with an incident in Washington, DC. Rogue also leaves to answer a distress call from Steve Rogers. Now that she and the most powerful non-mutant heroes have been lured away, the fun can begin.

You put your finger right on it. The characters they didn't want to resurrect, or would have a hard time explaining as a resurrection, or were powerful enough to put the kibosh on bad-guy activity, or needed to be absent for other plot reasons, all abruptly left. It's like when they would take out Superman and Green Lantern in the beginning of a '70s Justice League story so that Aquaman and Green Arrow would have something to do. Nothing like seeing the man behind the curtain to ruin a story.

Jean strongly suggests that Synch and Talon (whoever they are) should lead this year’s team of X-Men. I question turning the team over every year. A year isn’t nearly enough time to learn now to become an effective team to my mind.

Luis briefly explained Synch and Talon, but I'll go further.

Synch is a mutant who is basically Mimic. Talon is Laura Kinney, formerly X-23 and All-New Wolverine. Synch and Talon spent like a million years in "The Vault," where time passes faster than out here, where only a few weeks passed. Laura didn't age (much) because of her healing factor, and Synch didn't because he was mimicking Laura. After a million years fighting Vault people together they fell in love, of course, but when they came out of The Vault, Laura lost her memory somehow so she doesn't remember that she was in love with Synch, whom she regards as a guy she barely knows. Synch, of course, has many sad thought balloons. The drama!

I don't know what the deal is with turning the team over every year either. But I get the impression the Quiet Council regard the X-Men team as superfluous, and only have one as a sop to Cyclops, who doesn't feel comfortable not being a superhero.

The new X-Men team is announced. They are Cannonball (He was living out in space the last time I saw him.), Talon, Synch, Prodigy, Frenzy (none of whom I know anything about), Jubilee (Is she still a vampire?), Dazzler and the Juggernaut.

I told you about Synch and Talon already. Prodigy is a guy who, I think, can learn everything you know by standing next to you, and maybe retains it. He goes back early 2000s New Mutants, although for some reason I thought he'd lost his powers. Frenzy goes back to the '80s, where she was one of Magneto's Acolytes. She's super-strong and has impenetrable skin. Cannonball came back from space back when I was still reading the X-books. Jubilee is no longer a vampire.

The new team is immediately sneak-attacked by a robot called “Nimrod”. (I know that Nimrod was a mighty hunter in the Bible, but the name “Nimrod” is associated in my mind with Elmer Fudd.) He does make mildly amusing jokes, though. Talon and Synch get out of the way, Juggernaut survives because he’s the Juggernaut, Jubilee is badly hurt (Nimrod soon finishes her off – unless she’s still a vampire, in which case, she’s fine.) and Cannonball, Dazzler, Prodigy and Frenzy are “killed”. I’m not referring to this particular artist, but I wonder how artists feel about drawing these graphic scenes of bloody massacres. I wonder if some of them enjoy it. I feel that even if I could draw, I’d have a hard time drawing scenes of dismemberment and mayhem.

Nimrod is the ultimate Sentinel from an alternate future. He was introduced in the 1980s.

Illyana suddenly discovers that she can’t teleport. We are told that the heels have been poisoning her with power-suppressing nanites. If they could do that, why didn’t they do that to as many mutants as they could?

Luis explained this better than I could.

Brightswill comes from Otherworld and suppresses mutant abilities. I think the gates to Otheworld have been closed since the Contest of Swords, although that could have changed. Anyway, it's probably pretty rare.

Bobby Drake attacks and hurts Nimrod, who infects him with something that “kills” him. Isn’t there an Iceman comic starting next month? That kinda destroys his “death” here, doesn’t it?

Again, Luis Explains All. And it's not just Iceman, it's impossible to believe any of these people will stay dead. But yeah, Bobby's an omega mutant and can basically inhabit ice (or maybe just moisture) anywhere, so I don't see how it's possible to kill him.

Jean throws Juggernaut at Nimrod, while the Stark Sentinels (whoever they are) attack.

As Luis intimated, Stark Industries is now owned by an X-Men foe and Orchis member, Feilong by name. He is using Iron Man tech to build a superior breed of Sentinels.

Doctor Stasis Sephiroths in with a woman called Karima Shapandar (whoever she is) and taunts Chuck with the news that he and M.O.D.O.K. have tainted all of the medicines that the Krakheads have been selling to the muggles and can use them to kill them all anytime they like.

Luis Explains All.

Kate and Strong Guy (Comic Book Guy: “Least. Imaginative. Name. Ever.”) take down a Stark Sentinel, which apparently not as invincible as advertised. Also, why was Stark building Sentinels?

See above.

Karima smacks the Kingpin around, and somewhere Matt Murdock and Peter Parker are getting a good chuckle out of that. Neither of them is here, though. Overall, there are fewer “celebrity” guests than last year. Who can blame them for staying away? I don’t know why anyone would go to one of these things at this point. I assume that the heels wouldn’t have tried this crap if Doom had been there.

In addition to celebs not wanting to go to a party that just about every powerful group on Earth wants to murder, I imagine the guest list was limited by the writer to those that could be temporarily killed.

Kamala and Rasputin IV take down another Stark Sentinel. Seriously, man, Stark got ripped off.

Stark's on the run and down to one old suit, so he's not to blame. As you already know, he and Emma Frost are going to get married (or at least pretend to), as both have lost their home turf.

Nimrod knocks Jughead Into a tower, which is an Important Tower, for some unguessable reason.

I know not this tower of which you speak.

Jean rescues a bunch of the babyfaces and threatens the heels, but Moira X does a run-in and stabs her in the back with a knife poisoned with “Blightswill”, which sounds like an energy drink that probably didn’t focus group well. Also, the call to the Treehouse was a trap, and Scott got the crap beat out of him.

As I mentioned, someone stole the Captain Krakoa suit out of the Treehouse. They really should have checked out ADT.

The mutants go on the charge, but Moira X pulls a knife on Chuckie and threatens to have M.O.D.O.K. kill all the mundanes who used the Krakodawn medicines. The Chuckster stops the mutants psychically and surrenders to the heels.

The good guys have really been outmaneuvered here. You'd think they'd be better at this.

Doc Stasis tells Charlie-Boy that they’ve hacked all the Krakoatoan stargates so that they point off Earth, and that he wants Chuckles to order all the mutants to walk into the gates. He further elucidates that if any dirty mutants return to Earth, he’ll start killing humans in increasingly large numbers.

As long as The Five get away, millions of dead mutants is just an inconvenience. BTW, if anyone wants to explain Doc Stasis to me, feel free. I pretty much ignore anything having to do with Sinister. He's a non-mutant with an overtly evil agenda and track record, but the mutants welcome him to Krakoa and put on the leadership council where he basically brags every issue he's going to betray them all real soon. And, oh look, he did. This is such mind-boggling in-your-face writer's fiat that I am insulted.

Jean reaches out psychically to Firestar and asks her to be a spy within Orchis. Jean implants a memory into Stasis’ head that Angelica reached out to join Orchis back before she joined the X-Men and that she’s been feeding the heels intel. Sure hope that it never occurs to him (or one of his pals) to think about what information she’s been passing along, or what she hopes to get out of it. Is she theoretically hoping to be the last mutant killed, or something? Jean tells Angelica that she can throw the Beast under the bus if she needs to. Is he evil now? I’m not up to date on him.

Luis covered this.

Xavier pushes the Kraklings to walk into the nearest stargates. Elsewhere, someone called Mother Righteous has stolen Kraksylvania’s Atlantic substation for some mysterious purposes of her own.

Mother Righteous is one of the main Sinister clones, only based on his late (very, very late) wife. That's all I know about her because (all together now) I pretty much ignore anything having to do with Sinister.

A handful of mutants are able to resist using a “Red Triangle” method, including Kurt, Kate, Emma, and Forge.

Red Triangle is a method to resist telepathic intrusion that, apparently, Xavier taught to a number of main X-characters. (Storm used it against Xavier himself recently, which is the first I remember hearing about it.)

Scott senses Jean’s “death” as he’s being hauled away in an ecnalubma.

"Jean's dead" is X-Men-speak for "Tuesday."

Logan can also resist, and Jean reaches out with her “last” thought to wake him up so he can slaughter some of the heel’s guards.

That's always fun.

In a really disturbing scene, Charles tries to mentally “push” Mystique. She resists him, and reacts badly, falling out a window onto some rocks before being swept out to sea.

No body, no death.

Several other mutants are using the Red Triangle to resist, including Talon, Bishop, Synch, Rasputin IV, several others that I don’t recognize, and, somehow, Kamala. I guess this Red Triangle stuff must be real easy to teach very quickly, ‘cause she sure hasn’t had much time to learn it.

More writer's fiat.

A mutant called “Lourdes” teleports them away, with the Kingpin tagging along for the ride. They end up in the basement of the old Hellfire club in New York City. Lourdes “dies” from the strain of teleporting so many people.

She's an interesting character. She was introduced long ago as the dead squeeze of Sebastian Shaw, but it turned out she wanted to get away from him and Emma Frost asked Kingpin to give her a new identity, which is how Frost owed Fisk a debt -- and why he had leverage over her, since he could reveal where Lourdes was. Anyway, she outed herself, went to Krakoa and joined the Quiet Council a while back.

Back at the party, Nimrod has finished off Jugband. In NYC, the mutants discover that the stargates are closed against them.

As I have noted, the mutants are surprisingly bad at self-defense.

Once again, back at the party, Stasis has his goons finish off the remaining mundane guests. Moira X prepares to finish off the Professor, but Rogue re-appears and rescues him. He has Rogue take him to Pacific Krakoa. He thought that all of the mutants that went through the stargates were supposed to go to Arakko (a.k.a. Mars), but because he can’t “reach” them, he believes them to be all dead. Personally, I has me doubts. Chuck has Rogue leave him alone on Krakoa, telling her to avenge the “dead” mutants.

You're probably right that a cunning scheme will be revealed. Nobody could plausibly be THAT bad at self-defense. But even if they are dead, we'll get the important ones back soon enough.

Back in NYC, Emma seems to be cutting a deal with Fisk. Kate falls through a Stargate, surprisingly. We end with her appearing in Jerusalem, surrounded by Orchis goons.

If she still has her powers, she should make short work of any number of goons. But since she went through a gate, she probably doesn't. Oh the humanity!

As to Emma, as noted, she has history with Fisk. I trust her to be as sneaky as he is.

Replies

Luis Olavo de Moura Dantas July 28, 2023 at 10:16pm

4. Cerebro has been recording pretty much all mutants it can detect for at least a few years. That has been well established early on the Krakoa status quo, about three years ago.

7. We don't really know why, but Kate has indeed been shown to be incompatible with the Krakoan gates from the start, way back in Marauders #1.

13. Synch is a member of 1990s team "Generation X". In the last two years or so he has been a member of the core X-Men team. Talon is an accidentally created copy of Laura (X-23). Both are centuries older than they appear to be, due to an adventure gone wrong in a place with time dilation properties called "The Vault".

16. Presumably they used some form of Blightswill on Illyanna. They simply don't have much of it at this time. Also, administering it required making a superficial cut on her skin, and that is simply not a trivial goal when your targets are mutants that are usually in well-trained groups with impressive powers.

17. Bobby has been shown to be, for all purposes, beyond biological death regularly since the 1990s. I don't know why writers even bother to show him being slain anymore.

18. and 20. Feilong, a villain introduced in the current volume of the X-Men core book, has recently pulled an Obadiah Stane. Between that, current events involving Emma Frost guest-starring in the recently restarted Iron Man book and the introduction of a new volume of the Uncanny Avengers book we seem to be heading to a period of better integration between mutant and non-mutant books, particularly those of core Avengers.

19. Karima Shapandar, better known as Omega Sentinel, is a character from the late 1990s. She was at one point a member of the X-Men, but Things Happened Since.

27. Angelica has been in two different X-Men rosters at two different times now, but she is still largely seen even by her fellow mutants as a character more aligned with non-mutant heroes such as the New Warriors and the Avengers. Last year's Hellfire Gala had a scene of Tony Stark attempting to recruit her as an informant to observe the X-Men. The underlying, implicit premise is that she may find the dealings of the X-Men and associated groups too shady for her tastes and decided to take up some form of Tony's offer, albeit with ORCHIS instead of the Avengers. It helps that she was emotionally abused something fierce early on, when she was under the guard of Emma Frost.

As for Beast, yes, he is a villain now. A very cartoony yet grimdark one at that. He has been the main antagonist for months now in both X-Force and Wolverine.

36. The current, still unfinished "Rogue and Gambit" book may lend credence to your doubts.
- The Baron > Luis Olavo de Moura Dantas July 28, 2023 at 10:35pm
  
  Cool. Good to get input from someone who actually knows what's going on. Thanks, Luis!
Jeff of Earth-J July 29, 2023 at 9:08am

I, too, have not read X-Men for 30+ years but, from time-to-time, I like to check in and see what's going on. (I liked the Morrison/Quitely and the Whedon/Cassiday runs but not much else.) I was so put off by the whole Krakoa/Morira MacTaggart thing that I don't foresee a time when I'll be in the mood to read a new X-Men comic again. I was even reluctant to read this post, but then I remembered that your summaries are always more entertaining than the comics themselves.
The Baron August 2, 2023 at 12:31pm

I just read X-Men #25 so I could see what the follow-up was to the Hellfire Gala, and suffice it to say that I don't foresee myself reading any more X-Men comics for a long, long goddamn time.
Captain Comics August 2, 2023 at 3:24pm

I dropped the X-books at the point where Jonathan Hickman had planned for the Krakoa era to end, but Marvel extended it for sales reasons. It was clear to me that some wheel-spinning was in the offing and I wasn't in the market for that, considering there are approximately 5,000 X-Men books every month. I did enjoy the Hickmanesque bizarro world we had for a little while, though.

Anyway, being versed in the basics, I've been able to sort-of keep up with what's going on via press release in the "Comics Guide" section. I'll help where I can:

We begin “X weeks ago” with Emma and Scott, sitting in a tree, D-I-S-C-U-S-S-I-N-G when and how to break it to Kamala that she’s a mutant. Emma is patronizing as all get out. Also, when was the rule made at Marvel that Scott’s costume must look as though it were designed for use in what my Dad would’ve called “deviant sexual practices”?

I have disliked all of Scott's outfits except one, the one he put on in X-Men #39. The '90s one, the one with the useless straps and pouches that the cartoon made popular, is one of the ones I hate the most. Have you seen his "Captain Krakoa" look?

The funny thing here is that one of the bad guys stole this so he could frame the X-Men by wearing it and doing bad things. The joke's on him, because I imagine this suit will destroy your friendships, ruin your sex life and possibly grow moss in your ears.

We cut to the aftermath of Kamala’s “resurrection”, where we learn that she is both and Inhuman and a mutant, which was thought to be impossible, I guess. Emma tries to guilt-trip Kamala into “coming out” as a mutant for propaganda purposes. So, Emma hasn’t changed, still manipulating children for her own selfish purposes.

Emma turned X-Man ally and antihero going back to the Morrison era, and she was initially one of Xavier's and Magneto's more reliable votes on the Quiet Council, but she had a falling-out with Chuck and is best friends with Kate Pryde now. Anyway, good eye on the "manipulating children for her own selfish purposes" bit. Some leopards never change their spots, do they?

There is a character called “Jumbo Carnation”, who is the X-Men’s fashion designer, I guess, who is not at all a gay stereotype. He is deeply involved with a lighthouse keeper who looks just like Captain Avatar from StarBlazers.

Jumbo Carnation was introduced way back in 2002 by none other than Grant Morrison. You'd think a guy who says he's gender-queer and non-binary would know better than to create such an appalling gay stereotype. Maybe it was a simpler time.

Scott says that “Xavier backs up mutant minds as often as possible”. With or without their permission? Obviously not with Kamala’s permission because she didn’t know she was a mutant! Emma states that she will re-write the Khan family’s memories to smooth things over, which maybe isn’t as reassuring as she thinks it is.

Luis explained the mutant backups already.

As to non-mutants? I didn't read the story where Xavier & The Five resurrected Captain America {"Judgment Day," which I am trade-waiting), but they obviously do back up some minds that aren't mutant. Honestly, you can't trust Chuck any farther than Broo can throw him, so he could announce tomorrow that he has clones of every world leader on Arakko and it wouldn't be out of character.

Kamala wonders that if her “embiggening” is her Inhuman power, what is her mutant power, which we don’t get an answer to, here.

I suspect her mutant powers will be identical to the ones she has on the TV show.

Scott gets called away to an emergency at the Treehouse, whatever that is. Jean is wearing a ridiculous outfit for the Gala. She backs Juggernaut as a potential X-Man. I guess he turned good at some point.

The Treehouse is a gigantic tree that Krakoa grew in New York City to serve as the X-Men's HQ there.

Juggie turned the corner to good guy/anti-hero some time ago. I have a miniseries where that might have happened, but I haven't read it. I suspect when or if I do, it will explain his change of heart, and also why a non-mutant is allowed to hang out on Krakoa. (The gates do not allow non-mutant travel, but he's Juggernaut, so conceivably he walked there.) Anyway, I saw him in the background on Krakoa when I was still reading the X-books, so he's been there a while.

Everybody wears ridiculous outfits at the gala. Many fashionistas think they're high-fashion and cool as hell, but I am not among that number.

Kate Pryde is standing around drinking when she observes a quarrel between Mystique and Destiny. I guess it’s a plot point that Kate can’t pass through the Krakoan stargates or whatever they are. Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the X-Men comics regularly in over thirty years, but I have a hard time connecting “Kate” with the “Kitty” I remember.

Luis explained Kitty and the gates.

Today's Kate is a violent pirate, bisexual, loves to fight and drink, has "KILL SHAW" tattooed on her knuckles ... yeah, she's pretty unrecognizable from the naif she was through about 2005. That role is now played by Gabby Kinney, who is a clone of Laura Kinney, who is a clone of Wolverine.

Bobby Drake has a – boyfriend, I guess – called Romeo, who I know nothing about.

Iceman has been established as gay for a while, and I remember a boyfriend in some story or other, but I don't remember the bf's name. Might have been Romeo. Might have been Romeo's predecessor.

Charlie X gives Kamala a softer, more reasonable version of the hard sell that Emma did about why they’d like Kamala to come out as a mutant when she’s ready.

In other words, Xavier is manipulating a child to do what he wants by assuming the role of a concerned mentor. Again, some leopards don't change their spots.

Mutants from the future show up in X-Men stories like Green Kryptonite meteors do in Silver Age Supergirl stories.

It's funny because it's true.

Rasputin IV hero-worships Kamala, which weirds her out a bit.

We saw that same bit recently in the Star Trek crossover between Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks.

Illyana rousts two gate-crashers called Wyn and Dimitri, who are apparently from some upcoming new Marvel series that I won’t be reading.

They are going to be part of Hickman's upcoming G.O.D.S crossover. They may even be G.O.D.S., for all I know. Whatever G.O.D.S. are.

Wilson Fisk is there, dressed as a Roman emperor, which fits his character. Sam Wilson tells some mutants that I don’t recognize that he’s not wild about Fisk being there. Sam, Carol, Thor. Wanda, T’Challa and the Vision then get called away to deal with an incident in Washington, DC. Rogue also leaves to answer a distress call from Steve Rogers. Now that she and the most powerful non-mutant heroes have been lured away, the fun can begin.

You put your finger right on it. The characters they didn't want to resurrect, or would have a hard time explaining as a resurrection, or were powerful enough to put the kibosh on bad-guy activity, or needed to be absent for other plot reasons, all abruptly left. It's like when they would take out Superman and Green Lantern in the beginning of a '70s Justice League story so that Aquaman and Green Arrow would have something to do. Nothing like seeing the man behind the curtain to ruin a story.

Jean strongly suggests that Synch and Talon (whoever they are) should lead this year’s team of X-Men. I question turning the team over every year. A year isn’t nearly enough time to learn now to become an effective team to my mind.

Luis briefly explained Synch and Talon, but I'll go further.

Synch is a mutant who is basically Mimic. Talon is Laura Kinney, formerly X-23 and All-New Wolverine. Synch and Talon spent like a million years in "The Vault," where time passes faster than out here, where only a few weeks passed. Laura didn't age (much) because of her healing factor, and Synch didn't because he was mimicking Laura. After a million years fighting Vault people together they fell in love, of course, but when they came out of The Vault, Laura lost her memory somehow so she doesn't remember that she was in love with Synch, whom she regards as a guy she barely knows. Synch, of course, has many sad thought balloons. The drama!

I don't know what the deal is with turning the team over every year either. But I get the impression the Quiet Council regard the X-Men team as superfluous, and only have one as a sop to Cyclops, who doesn't feel comfortable not being a superhero.

The new X-Men team is announced. They are Cannonball (He was living out in space the last time I saw him.), Talon, Synch, Prodigy, Frenzy (none of whom I know anything about), Jubilee (Is she still a vampire?), Dazzler and the Juggernaut.

I told you about Synch and Talon already. Prodigy is a guy who, I think, can learn everything you know by standing next to you, and maybe retains it. He goes back early 2000s New Mutants, although for some reason I thought he'd lost his powers. Frenzy goes back to the '80s, where she was one of Magneto's Acolytes. She's super-strong and has impenetrable skin. Cannonball came back from space back when I was still reading the X-books. Jubilee is no longer a vampire.

The new team is immediately sneak-attacked by a robot called “Nimrod”. (I know that Nimrod was a mighty hunter in the Bible, but the name “Nimrod” is associated in my mind with Elmer Fudd.) He does make mildly amusing jokes, though. Talon and Synch get out of the way, Juggernaut survives because he’s the Juggernaut, Jubilee is badly hurt (Nimrod soon finishes her off – unless she’s still a vampire, in which case, she’s fine.) and Cannonball, Dazzler, Prodigy and Frenzy are “killed”. I’m not referring to this particular artist, but I wonder how artists feel about drawing these graphic scenes of bloody massacres. I wonder if some of them enjoy it. I feel that even if I could draw, I’d have a hard time drawing scenes of dismemberment and mayhem.

Nimrod is the ultimate Sentinel from an alternate future. He was introduced in the 1980s.

Illyana suddenly discovers that she can’t teleport. We are told that the heels have been poisoning her with power-suppressing nanites. If they could do that, why didn’t they do that to as many mutants as they could?

Luis explained this better than I could.

Brightswill comes from Otherworld and suppresses mutant abilities. I think the gates to Otheworld have been closed since the Contest of Swords, although that could have changed. Anyway, it's probably pretty rare.

Bobby Drake attacks and hurts Nimrod, who infects him with something that “kills” him. Isn’t there an Iceman comic starting next month? That kinda destroys his “death” here, doesn’t it?

Again, Luis Explains All. And it's not just Iceman, it's impossible to believe any of these people will stay dead. But yeah, Bobby's an omega mutant and can basically inhabit ice (or maybe just moisture) anywhere, so I don't see how it's possible to kill him.

Jean throws Juggernaut at Nimrod, while the Stark Sentinels (whoever they are) attack.

As Luis intimated, Stark Industries is now owned by an X-Men foe and Orchis member, Feilong by name. He is using Iron Man tech to build a superior breed of Sentinels.

Doctor Stasis Sephiroths in with a woman called Karima Shapandar (whoever she is) and taunts Chuck with the news that he and M.O.D.O.K. have tainted all of the medicines that the Krakheads have been selling to the muggles and can use them to kill them all anytime they like.

Luis Explains All.

Kate and Strong Guy (Comic Book Guy: “Least. Imaginative. Name. Ever.”) take down a Stark Sentinel, which apparently not as invincible as advertised. Also, why was Stark building Sentinels?

See above.

Karima smacks the Kingpin around, and somewhere Matt Murdock and Peter Parker are getting a good chuckle out of that. Neither of them is here, though. Overall, there are fewer “celebrity” guests than last year. Who can blame them for staying away? I don’t know why anyone would go to one of these things at this point. I assume that the heels wouldn’t have tried this crap if Doom had been there.

In addition to celebs not wanting to go to a party that just about every powerful group on Earth wants to murder, I imagine the guest list was limited by the writer to those that could be temporarily killed.

Kamala and Rasputin IV take down another Stark Sentinel. Seriously, man, Stark got ripped off.

Stark's on the run and down to one old suit, so he's not to blame. As you already know, he and Emma Frost are going to get married (or at least pretend to), as both have lost their home turf.

Nimrod knocks Jughead Into a tower, which is an Important Tower, for some unguessable reason.

I know not this tower of which you speak.

Jean rescues a bunch of the babyfaces and threatens the heels, but Moira X does a run-in and stabs her in the back with a knife poisoned with “Blightswill”, which sounds like an energy drink that probably didn’t focus group well. Also, the call to the Treehouse was a trap, and Scott got the crap beat out of him.

As I mentioned, someone stole the Captain Krakoa suit out of the Treehouse. They really should have checked out ADT.

The mutants go on the charge, but Moira X pulls a knife on Chuckie and threatens to have M.O.D.O.K. kill all the mundanes who used the Krakodawn medicines. The Chuckster stops the mutants psychically and surrenders to the heels.

The good guys have really been outmaneuvered here. You'd think they'd be better at this.

Doc Stasis tells Charlie-Boy that they’ve hacked all the Krakoatoan stargates so that they point off Earth, and that he wants Chuckles to order all the mutants to walk into the gates. He further elucidates that if any dirty mutants return to Earth, he’ll start killing humans in increasingly large numbers.

As long as The Five get away, millions of dead mutants is just an inconvenience. BTW, if anyone wants to explain Doc Stasis to me, feel free. I pretty much ignore anything having to do with Sinister. He's a non-mutant with an overtly evil agenda and track record, but the mutants welcome him to Krakoa and put on the leadership council where he basically brags every issue he's going to betray them all real soon. And, oh look, he did. This is such mind-boggling in-your-face writer's fiat that I am insulted.

Jean reaches out psychically to Firestar and asks her to be a spy within Orchis. Jean implants a memory into Stasis’ head that Angelica reached out to join Orchis back before she joined the X-Men and that she’s been feeding the heels intel. Sure hope that it never occurs to him (or one of his pals) to think about what information she’s been passing along, or what she hopes to get out of it. Is she theoretically hoping to be the last mutant killed, or something? Jean tells Angelica that she can throw the Beast under the bus if she needs to. Is he evil now? I’m not up to date on him.

Luis covered this.

Xavier pushes the Kraklings to walk into the nearest stargates. Elsewhere, someone called Mother Righteous has stolen Kraksylvania’s Atlantic substation for some mysterious purposes of her own.

Mother Righteous is one of the main Sinister clones, only based on his late (very, very late) wife. That's all I know about her because (all together now) I pretty much ignore anything having to do with Sinister.

A handful of mutants are able to resist using a “Red Triangle” method, including Kurt, Kate, Emma, and Forge.

Red Triangle is a method to resist telepathic intrusion that, apparently, Xavier taught to a number of main X-characters. (Storm used it against Xavier himself recently, which is the first I remember hearing about it.)

Scott senses Jean’s “death” as he’s being hauled away in an ecnalubma.

"Jean's dead" is X-Men-speak for "Tuesday."

Logan can also resist, and Jean reaches out with her “last” thought to wake him up so he can slaughter some of the heel’s guards.

That's always fun.

In a really disturbing scene, Charles tries to mentally “push” Mystique. She resists him, and reacts badly, falling out a window onto some rocks before being swept out to sea.

No body, no death.

Several other mutants are using the Red Triangle to resist, including Talon, Bishop, Synch, Rasputin IV, several others that I don’t recognize, and, somehow, Kamala. I guess this Red Triangle stuff must be real easy to teach very quickly, ‘cause she sure hasn’t had much time to learn it.

More writer's fiat.

A mutant called “Lourdes” teleports them away, with the Kingpin tagging along for the ride. They end up in the basement of the old Hellfire club in New York City. Lourdes “dies” from the strain of teleporting so many people.

She's an interesting character. She was introduced long ago as the dead squeeze of Sebastian Shaw, but it turned out she wanted to get away from him and Emma Frost asked Kingpin to give her a new identity, which is how Frost owed Fisk a debt -- and why he had leverage over her, since he could reveal where Lourdes was. Anyway, she outed herself, went to Krakoa and joined the Quiet Council a while back.

Back at the party, Nimrod has finished off Jugband. In NYC, the mutants discover that the stargates are closed against them.

As I have noted, the mutants are surprisingly bad at self-defense.

Once again, back at the party, Stasis has his goons finish off the remaining mundane guests. Moira X prepares to finish off the Professor, but Rogue re-appears and rescues him. He has Rogue take him to Pacific Krakoa. He thought that all of the mutants that went through the stargates were supposed to go to Arakko (a.k.a. Mars), but because he can’t “reach” them, he believes them to be all dead. Personally, I has me doubts. Chuck has Rogue leave him alone on Krakoa, telling her to avenge the “dead” mutants.

You're probably right that a cunning scheme will be revealed. Nobody could plausibly be THAT bad at self-defense. But even if they are dead, we'll get the important ones back soon enough.

Back in NYC, Emma seems to be cutting a deal with Fisk. Kate falls through a Stargate, surprisingly. We end with her appearing in Jerusalem, surrounded by Orchis goons.

If she still has her powers, she should make short work of any number of goons. But since she went through a gate, she probably doesn't. Oh the humanity!

As to Emma, as noted, she has history with Fisk. I trust her to be as sneaky as he is.
- Luis Olavo de Moura Dantas > Captain Comics August 2, 2023 at 3:52pm
  
  Just a few bits, Captain:
  
  The ending of the A.X.E. crossover established that, partially as a good publicity move, the X-Men and Krakoa would from them on keep an ongoing program of ressurrecting prioritary non-mutants as a good will initiative. Just typing these words I feel that it would be quite the nightmare in real life. Well over a thousand people die each minute. Deciding who exactly and how many of those put in a queue that was already with millions of people is no trivial matter... and it does not help any that it amounts to telling thousands of people each and every day that their lost loved ones were not considered a priority yet.
  
  Talon isn't exactly X-23. X-23 oddly goes by "Wolverine" these days - just what someone with identity issues does not need IMO - and has been featured in X-Force (and apparently will continue after the start of the Fall of X).
  
  What happened is that X-23 and Synch (and Darwin) went to the mission in the Vault but only Synch returned on his own. That led to his ressurrection with his latest backup. X-23 too was ressurrected (for no explained reason Darwin was not) but since she was still locked in the Vault they had no access to her memories of the very long time she lived inside alongside Synch, and returned without those. It was later established that Proteus made her anew with an Adamantion skeleton as well.
  
  A few months later Forge attempted to rescue Darwin and it turned out that X-23 had never died. So the original now calls herself Talon and resumed her relationship with Synch. She and the ressurrected copy have reached an understanding of keeping out of each other's way.
  
  Doctor Stasis (and Orbis Stelaris, and Mother Superior) are alternate versions of Mister Sinister, each one themed after one of the standard card suits. All are modified clones either of Nathaniel Essex or of his former wife. Stasis isn't terribly different from Sinister, but is perhaps a bit more emotional and also aligned with Orchis.
  
  Right on the money regarding Kate Pryde and the Orchis goons. Today's X-Men #25 really emphasizes her and her Jewish identity, btw. Krakoa has on occasion been compared to Israel, which I did not find terribly convincing on the page. But that issue tries hard to bring that comparison now.
  
  As for the Red Triangle... to be fair, it is reasonable to expect that at least some of the most influential X-Men would be taught to resist Charles' mind control. Most of them remember Onslaught all too well.
  
  Xavier's power levels have become a bit of a plot challenge. This Hellfire Gala had him controlling so many people at once that it really strains credibility. IIRC it also turns out that there are two different Omega Level telepaths - and Charles is not one of them (they are Quentin Quire and Jean Grey). I don't think that Omega Level mutants have any clear meaning anymore.
- Captain Comics > Luis Olavo de Moura Dantas August 2, 2023 at 5:02pm
  
  UPDATE
  
  When you mentioned AXE, Luis, I thought you meant that crossover where everybody's good/evil alignment was flipped. Which I did not read. Now I realize you mean the recent Avengers-X-Men-Eternals crossover, which I think of as "Judgment Day." which I am trade-waiting. So I still didn't know about the non-mutant resurrection protocols you were referring to, but for different reasons.
  
  And now that I do, I'm as flabbergasted as you. That is insanely impractical. Especially since you would know your beloved grandmother could not only be resurrected, but resurrected in a younger body. Or that your children killed in a bombing or a car wreck could be restored to live their lives. And so on. But that somebody else is deemed more important. There'd be riots, at the least.
  
  I stopped reading the X-books when there was only one Laura Kinney. That, too, is pretty jaw-dropping.
  
  As to Red Triangle, the Baron mentioned that it must be really easy to learn since Kamala -- who became a mutant, like, five minutes ago -- already knows it. He's more generous than I am. I call it "writer fiat" and it snaps my suspension of disbelief. She knows it because she's a main character in this story, not because it makes sense. I don't have any problem with the likes of Storm and Wolverine knowing it, as they certainly should.
The Baron August 2, 2023 at 6:16pm

Juggernaut taking a beating made me think of this: Did you ever notice how an "unbeatable" villain suddenly becomes eminently "beatable when they turn "good"?

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