Because of this: "He cried for another minute or two, and then his kindergartener brain rebooted. He grabbed a tissue to wipe away his tears and blow his nose, and it was time to talk about what book to read before bed. He wanted the one about how people build skyscrapers."
I was just about to delete my post before you saw it (because it sounds so snarky), but too late now, I guess. Our good friends have a pre-school boy and they're considering home schooling (a can of worms I don't want to open here). My friend told me, "I don't want him to learn anything unless I teach it to him." Oh, really? What about stuff like this? How are you going to teach him the unpleasant lessons of life.
I say the kid's better off having experience the death of B'Wana Beast on TV and should be allowed to watch the episode about the Wayne's killer, too. Hasn't this guy ever heard of Disney?
I think young children may develop the intellectual capacity to understand "death" as an abstract concept, without yet having the emotional capacity to deal with it (at least, in a way that isn't unnecesarily traumatic) when faced with it as an actual event.
My son understands that my mother is dead, and what that means. But it's an abstract concept. He never met her and there's no emotional content to the fact of her death. But if my wife's mother -- his beloved Grandma -- died, that would be devastating to him.
So I think there's a distinction to be drawn between shielding a child from the existence of death, and shielding that same child from exposure to a particular death (or, at least, "managing" the situation to take into account the child's emotional maturity).
Whether or not your child is prepared to handle a fictional death, as opposed to the death of a real person, is a case-by-caser. Since I've been known to well up over the deaths of fictional characters, I might not be the best judge of when to draw that line. But I think I've got a pretty good handle on my son. I don't think Bwana Beast's death would have pushed his buttons. But I can imagine other fictional deaths that would.
I have three kids and am a board certified developmental-behavioral pediatrician and even I have a very hard time commenting on anyone's parenting style, unless abusive or neglectful of course...it's very personal and we often only see the tip of the iceberg for the parent-child relationship. Deciding when a kid is ready, I think, is up to their parent or caregiver...blanket statements about the appropriate age or time are usually too broad.
I've a great geeky life and hope for the same for my girls.
Detective 445 said:
I don't know. The author is publishing an article about his parenting style for public consumption. Therefore, I think he opens himself up to public scrutiny or commentary.I don't know if anyone is making blanket statements about the right time or age. But I do think think that over protectiveness is something that many parents should be wary of. I know that it has always been my first impulse to shield my children from anything that might cause them distress. But at the same time, I've had to remind myself that I can't raise them in a bubble because they eventually will have to emerge from that bubble and live in the real world. And I can't, for the life of me, figure out why the author wants his kid to be a geek. I think most geeks would probably tell you, it can be a rather painful existence.
Replies
I was just about to delete my post before you saw it (because it sounds so snarky), but too late now, I guess. Our good friends have a pre-school boy and they're considering home schooling (a can of worms I don't want to open here). My friend told me, "I don't want him to learn anything unless I teach it to him." Oh, really? What about stuff like this? How are you going to teach him the unpleasant lessons of life.
I say the kid's better off having experience the death of B'Wana Beast on TV and should be allowed to watch the episode about the Wayne's killer, too. Hasn't this guy ever heard of Disney?
My son understands that my mother is dead, and what that means. But it's an abstract concept. He never met her and there's no emotional content to the fact of her death. But if my wife's mother -- his beloved Grandma -- died, that would be devastating to him.
So I think there's a distinction to be drawn between shielding a child from the existence of death, and shielding that same child from exposure to a particular death (or, at least, "managing" the situation to take into account the child's emotional maturity).
Whether or not your child is prepared to handle a fictional death, as opposed to the death of a real person, is a case-by-caser. Since I've been known to well up over the deaths of fictional characters, I might not be the best judge of when to draw that line. But I think I've got a pretty good handle on my son. I don't think Bwana Beast's death would have pushed his buttons. But I can imagine other fictional deaths that would.
'Cause then you'd be, like, 5. Is Tracy into younger men?
Detective 445 said:
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