What If...? Dark: Loki #1:
Written by Walter Simonson
Drawn by Scot Eaton
This story branches off from Thoe #153, which I've never read, but which I'm sure many of you have. Loki has apparently "borrowed" some magic from Karnilla, which allows him to steal Mjolnir. He gets the drop on Thor (in "Donald Blake" form) and Sif, and kills them both. He then goes and kills Karnilla, so he doesn't have to give her magic back. After this, he sneaks into Asgard and kills Balder.Then he kills Huginn and Muninn and frees the Fenris Wolf. Next, he recruits the Frost Giants, Hela, Jormungand the Midgard Serpent and Surtur. They march on Asgard, killing Heimdall before Heimdall can soumd the alarm. The Fenris Wolf kills Odin, and Loki proclaims his lordship over all. Surtur turns on Loki, and Loki is killed when his phaser Mjolnir overloads. Surtur then beheads the Midgard Serpent, and then burns up the Nine Worlds, and, apparently,the Universe. Mjolnir drfits through the void until, after a time, the Universe is born anew.
Question: Where are all the other gods and cosmic beings in the Marvel universe while all this is going on? Were they all just sitting around playimg pinochle while reality gets vaporized? Loki d*cks around , and the Powers That Are just watch while Surtur burns everything?
Overall: This was OK, but not great. I mean, Ragnarok's been done before. Hell's Bells, Simonson's done Ragnarok before, and better. the art's not bad, and there are some good set pieces in it,, but in the end, this book's achieved the trick of making universal Armageddon seem a bit, well, mundane.
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It's written by Walt Simonson, so that's something, at least. Looks as if he did the cover as well. If he'd've done the interior artwork, I might have given it a look.
Yeah, the cover is credited to Simonson and Laura Martin.
What If...? Dark: Spider-Gwen #1:
Plotted by Gerry Conway and Jody Houser
Scripted by Jody Houser
Drawn by Ramón F. Bachs
(If I were a cynical fellow, the above credits might make me wonder how much of Conway is actually in this story. Also, this story is not about the modern "Spider-Gwen" Stacy, but is instead about the original Gwen Stacy.)
The book starts with a few pages from the original story, covering the battle on the bridge up until the point where the Goblin off the bridge. Spider-man manages to save Gwen, but bashes his head against a bridge support in the process. Hitting the water revives Gwen, and she discovers that Spider-Man is Peter, and dead. The Goblin taunts her and flies off. Gwen strips off Peter's costume and tells people that the Goblin attacked her and Peter without mentioning Spidey. After his funeral, she goes to the apartment he shared with Harry, and gets Harry to let her go sit in Peter's room for a while. She puts on his costume and web-shooters and a hoodie, for some reason. (I giuess that whatever universe they're from, Gwens like to wear hoods when they become spider-themed heroes.) She chickes out from trying to web-swing, acknowledging that she has no powers or training. She decides to get help to avenge Peter. he seeks out Harry and tells him that Peter was Spider-Man.
Gwen and Harry plan to lure the Goblin to an abandoned building, where Gwen plans to shoot him with her father's service weapon. Their plan succeeds and they capture the Goblin, but Gwen finds that she can't bring herself to shoot him in cold blood and throws away her gun. However, Harry picks it up and shoots the Goblin dead, only then discovering that he's just killed his own father. He blames Gwen, and storms off, vowing vengeance. Harry becomes the second Green Goblin, and Gwen becomes a spider-hero to stop him.
Overall: Another one that I thought was OK, I liked it a little better than the Loki story. The first Gwen Stacy was already dead when I started reading Spider-Man comics, so the original "Death of Gwen Stacy" oesn't have the meaning for me as it must have had for people who were Spider-Man readers at the time. i also liked that they at least paid lip-service to the idea that just putting on a costume doesn't make you a "super-hero".
What If...? Dark: Moon Knight #1:
Written by Erica Schultz
Drawn by Edgar Salazar
I'm not a big Moon Knight fan, but I picked this one up out of completism. The story is narrated by a skeletal birs in a suit, which I guess is the moon good Khonshu.Moon Knight is somewhere in Comic Book Africa, where his archenemy, Raul Bushman (Is it me, or is that name kinda racist?), his kidnapped his girlfriend, Marlene Alraune. Moon Knight is killed in the ensuing battle, but Marlene escapes. Marc's funeral is attended by the West Coast Avengers and several mundanes that I don't recognize. Afterwards, she is approached by the sun god, Ra, who her his Luminary.She fights some crime, but at aanart auction, an emissary from Bushman threatens her, so she strangles him. She tracks Bushman to one of his embassies and kills him after a battle in which she is wounded. She has a vision of Marc in the adterlife, but then awakens in a hospital, proclaiming that Marlene is gone, and she is now Ra.
Overall: Another one that was OK, but not great, and which might have meant more to me if I was more of a Moon Knight fan.
There was a time, years ago under the aegis of Moench and Seinkewicz, when Moon Knight was my favorite character. Back then, Moon Knight had three alter egos: Marc Spector (soldier of fortune), Jake Lockley (cab driver) and Steven Grant (playboy). Each of his supporting cast members called him by a different name depending on how they knew him best. I don't know if that's still the status quo, but Marlene knew him as "Steven."
In this story, she called him "Marc".
What If...? Dark: Carnage #1:
Written by Larry Hama
Drawn by John McCrea
This is another one that I bought out of completism I'm pretty sure that this is the first comic that I've ever bought with Carnage in it. I've never been a big fan of the symbiote characters. I've always suspected - and I'm open to correction on this - that when Venom started inching towards being less of a heel, Marvel created Carnage to be the new "bad guy" symbiote character. Anyway, Carnage is Cletus Kasadt, which name sounds like it was chosento sound as much like a Cartoon Rural Defective as possible. We open with Carnage held inside the Ravenvroft Institute for the Criminally Insane, under the charge of a guy called Travis Many Hands. (Does he make light work?) Carnage escapes from his cell and heads for the sub-basement. Cletus finds a magic time tree with a talking corpse in it that turns out to be cletus' ancestor, Cortland, who is working for Dormammu. Cletus inadvertently travels into the past, where he battles Cortland and some cultists. Cletus defeats Cortland and foils Dormammu's plan, but damages the time tree in the process. Cletus returns to the present, where he is recaptured . Travis Many Hands is gone, replaced by Bernard Stalking Wolf, who is Ravencrofy's head of Brutality Research. We end with Bernard torturing Cletus.
Overall:I hate to repeat myself, but this was another one that was OK, but not great, that maybe would have meant more to me if I'd known anything about the character.
What If...? Dark: The Tomb of Dracula #1:
Written by Marv Wolfman
Drawn by Ben Cutler
I read a few issue sof this book when I was a kid, but I'm not as familiar with its mythos as Jeff is. We start with a flashback in which Dracula attacks Quincy Harker at the opera. for some unguessable reason, Dracuka doesn't finish harker off, but instead lets himself be distracted by a passing woman. An old guy, who I guess is Deacon Frost, intervens to save her, so Dracula feeds on him, instead. So,e time later, Forst, now a vampire, kills Blade's mother just as she's giving birth to him.
Twenty-seven years later, Dracula is aware of Blade's existence as a "dhampir", and thus a threat to him. Dracula tries to kill Blade, but Harker, Frank Drake and Rachel Van Helsing show up, so Dracula cuts and runs. Later, Drac has his minions attack a Christmas street festival. blade arrives to stop them and Drac attacks him from behind, and tirns him into a vampire. Blade goes home and turns his girlfriend Saffron into a vampire. (This is an odd scene. Blade attacks Saffron, ostnesibly "turning" her, butnthen nothing else is done with her.) Dracula shows up, but b;ade refuses to be his slave. The two vampires battle inconclusively, and Dracula flees. (Dracula comes across as cowardly and indecisive in this book.) Balde approaches Harke and company with a plan to get rid of Dracula. Balde attacks Dracula in his Castle, slaughtering his minions. After a ferocious battle, Blade kills Dracula. Blade signals Harker, who blows up the castle, burying Blade, Dracula and the minions under it. Harker and company go home, presumably to deal with Saffron, or maybe she becomes the Queen of the Vampires, I don't know.
Overall: Another one that was OK, but not great. I liked it better than the Carnage and Moon Knight ones, anyway. In the end, this whole set of "What Ifs" wasn't all that overwhelming. From Favorite to least Favorite I would rate them:
Blade arrives to stop them and Drac attacks him from behind, and turns him into a vampire.
See, the thing with that is, due to the unique curcumstances surrounding his birth, Blade is supposed to be immune to vampire bites. That's his whole schtick (that and wooden knives). Marv Wolfman, who wrote Blade's origin, should know that better than anyone.
Terry Nation screwed up Dalek continuity a lot, too.