I’m kind of a sucker for these “What If” series where they present variations on a given character, even if they are more like “Elseworlds” than proper “What Ifs” to my mind.
We begin with the question, “What if Galactus transformed Hulk?”
- We open with Bruce Banner as Galactus’ herald arriving at the planet Wilamean. He looks like the Silver Surfer with Banner’s hair and no board. Not s very original or impressive look.
- Apparently, Banner’s modus operandi as a herald is to warn the inhabited planets and send them specs to build space arks. (No word on what he does for planets that aren’t advanced enough to build space arks.)
- The Wilameanites decide to fight instead of fleeing, and they attack Banner, who Hulks out. When this happens, the silver façade cracks, and he basically looks like the Hulk with silver pieces attached to him. This strikes me as improbable. If Reed Richards can invent unstable molecules, then surely Galactus could come up with a solution that allows for a size-changing herald?
- We flash back to Banner in a cell. Galactus needs a herald, and he offers Banner the job, encouraging him to rationalize that since he will only be sent to worlds that Galactus will eat anyway, the Hulk won’t be causing any further damage, and Earth will be spared the Hulk’s rampages. Things being what they are, Banner takes the job.
- Meanwhile, back now, Galactus arrives and eats the planet, sending Banner on ahead to Elysion-3. Big G doesn’t care about the space ark business, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his mealtime.
- Arriving at Elysion-3, Banner finds that the Elysionians have built a space ark. He also finds Iron Man Tony Stark, Captain Marvel Carol Danvers and the Vision waiting for him. These were the only three they could send? For that matter, since this is a Kree planet, why aren’t they doing something about it?
- They quarrel and fight. Tony has special armor that can absorb cosmic energy, and he and the Hulk duke it out. The Elysionian space ark is destroyed in the process.
- Bruce beats Tony, who confesses that Galactus came to Earth, and the heroes couldn’t stop him. Galactus offered to spare Earth if they offered someone powerful to serve as his herald, so they threw the Hulk under the bus.
- Tony convinces Bruce to turn against Galactus, and we end with the Hulk racing off to confront Galactus, which is all well and good, except that Galactus will probably end up just smacking him down.
Overall: An OK story, if not overly impressive. I mean, so many “Galactus’ herald” stories end with the herald du jour turning against the Big G. I suppose that if you have a “good guy” as the herald, then they kind of have to turn on him, don’t they?
Next: Gambit!
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I’m kind of a sucker for these “What If” series where they present variations on a given character...
I very much enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek "Stan Lee Meets..." series on one-shots back in 2006...
...even if they are more like “Elseworlds” than proper “What Ifs” to my mind.
...that's pretty much what kept me away from this one/these. That, plus the premise of any one of them seems too highly unlikely.
Not a very original or impressive look.
Not selling me on the concept.
(No word on what he does for planets that aren’t advanced enough to build space arks.)
Rather than leading Galactus to planets with not sentient life, perhaps he only targets those technologically advanced enough for space travel.
...then surely Galactus could come up with a solution that allows for a size-changing herald?
...or strong enough to keep the Hulk from bursting out of it. (Ew, that could get messy.)
...encouraging him to rationalize that since he will only be sent to worlds that Galactus will eat anyway...
Then what does Galactus need a "herald" for? This premise makes no sense to me.
...sending Banner on ahead to Elysion-3.
See what I mean? What purpose is Banner actually fulfilling here (for Galactus, I mean)?
Next: Gambit!
Looking forward to it!
Then what does Gsalactus need a "herald" for? This premise makes no sense to me.
What has Galactus ever needed a herald for, really? Presumably, he was able to find planets to eat before he met Norrin Radd.
The purpose of a herald was originally to lead Galactus away from populated planets. Galactus himself pitched it this way: "Had I a herald... to probe the universe for me... then many worlds such as this would I spare! But, there is no such one! And so... I must make preparations... for, the world of Zenn-La is rich in basic energy... and the hunger which I feel grows ever stronger!" So (I ask again) what's the point of Bruce Banner leading Galactus to populated worlds "that Galactus will eat anyway"?
Really only to make Banner able to feel better about working for Galactus. What Galactus gets out of it is harder to say.
So why did the Silver Surfer lead Galactus to Earth in the first place? I'm glad you asked. There are two reasons: a "real life" reason and a "comic book" reason. first, IRL, Jack Kirby envisioned the Surfer as the "Fallen Angel" archetype, created by Galactus from the cosmic ether. During his exile on Earth, he would have learned what it means to be human. It was Stan Lee who later grafted the "Zenn-La" origin on top of it. Kirby's eventually drew his version in the Silver Surfer graphic novel...
...but that didn't stop Stan from scipting the Zenn-La origin over it, anyway.
The comic book retcon is that Galactus also altered Norrin Radd's personality when he gave him the Power Cosmic. And another retcon has it that, as soon as the surfer betrayed Galactus on Earth, the Big "G" turned right around and ate Zenn-La anyway, rendering Norrin Radd's sacrifice moot.
Overall: More than a few plot holes in this, but I thought that it was better than the last one. At least they avoided the whole “herald turning against Galactus” routine. Pretty good story for a character that I never liked all that much.
Next: Moon Knight!
*Bostonian for “sprinkle”
Gambit has never been a favorite character of mine, so this has tended to color my reaction to stories that he appears in.
I know what you mean. I've read maybe five "Gambit" stories in my life and I don't remember any of them. (Actually, I've probably read more than five, I just cannot retain them in my memory.) All he is to me is a bad accent and a long coat. I read a story with him in it, then my brain resets itself to those specs.
I’ve no idea what storyline (if any) this refers to.
Oh, those Morliocks... they're always getting themselves massacred.
Galactus arrives, tells Gambit that he has been chosen for a new role, imbues him with the power cosmic, and then asks him if he accepts his new role.
I've never had an interview process that easy. Apparently Gambit didn't even apply for the job.
Congratulations to writer Josh Trujillo, winner of today’s “Nobody talks like that, Roy!” Award.
Named for Roy "Tin Ear" Thomas I assume...?
How does Galactus even know who Gambit is?
My very quenstion.
*Bostonian for “sprinkle”
I've also heard that term aplied to women's nipples.
Galactus wants Gambit to infiltrate the showing so he can steal the planet by stealth.
I got to this point in your comments and decided that no, your perception of the story is not colored by your perception of Gambit.
...the Blue Diamond from the Liberty Legion (?).
Probably the one from Nova.
(Shouldn’t he know who she is?)
One would think.
Gambit meets the Collector, who knows who he is and why he’s there...
Gambit is pretty well-known in this story. Unless the Collector has tried in the past to "collect" the X-Men (which is possible), he shouldn't be any more familiar with Gambit than Galactus (should be).
Gambit makes kissyface with a woman who tells him that the Collector collects things that would otherwise be forgotten and then wanders off to get back to work.
Thank you, Mr. Expository Dialogue.
Gambit wanders into the Forbidden Zone...
...from the Planet of the Apes?
...the planet in question that he had made of Taa, Galactus’ homeworld.
Oh, fer...!
According to Marvel cosmology, Taa is from the universe which existed before the Big Bang!
Gambit then uses his control over kinetic energy (which I never knew that he had, but then I never knew what his powers were, exactly, anyhow)
Oh, yeah! That's the other thing I know about Gambit. He wears a long coat, has a bad accent, and charges playing cards with "kinetic energy." It always struck me that if I has control over kinetic energy, I would think of something more useful to do with it.
Gambit confirms that the planet is merely a dead replica.
Well, that at least makes sense (that it was a replica). It still doesn't explain why Galactus (who consumes the energy of living planets) would want it in the first place, or why he would employ Gambit to "steal" it.
I guess he only needed him for this one job
Huh. Who'da thunk "Herald of Galactus" was a gig worker job.
Your "overall" assessment is more generous than I would have expected.
Named for Roy "Tin Ear" Thomas I assume...?
Correct.
I've also heard that term aplies to women's nipples.
Interesting. Never heard that one, myself.
...from the Planet of the Apes?
I wish.
...the planet in question that he had made of Taa, Galactus’ homeworld.
Sorry, this should have read : "...the planet in question is a duplicate that he had made of Taa, Galactus’ homeworld."
Baron Bizarre, this year's recipient of "I read bad stories so you don't have to" award.
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