Petty Crimes

Inspired by today's read of Secret Society of Super Villains #3, in which we see Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang use incredible technology to steal some hamburgers, I'm staring up this new thread. Use this place to post pictures and sequences of supervillains committing the smallest crimes imaginable! How low can they go?

Here's SSoSV #3, written by David Anthony Kraft, art by Pablo Marcos & Vince Coletta.



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  • 14667270640.11.jpg?profile=RESIZE_710x

    Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty #11 takes a satirical look at how much the Acrobat's scheme from Strange Tales #114 would have cost to pull off.

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  • Nice! What was his scheme?

  • Just recently I read a review of a promo comic of a motorcycle brand where apparently a villain contracts some thugs to fight Wolverine and steal a 15 thousand dollars bike.

  • "Nice! What was his scheme?"

    Well, the scheme was bank robbery but the plot of Strange Tales #114 was pretty convoluted. First, he masqueraded as Captain America at an antique auto show in the Torch's hometown, Glennville, Long Island. [This is before the real Captain America was revived in Avengers #4.] His men staged the theft of a "priceless antique racing car" which he thwarted. Later, he busts them out of jail and supplies them a Ferrari as a getaway car. ("This Ferrari will outrace almost anything on wheels! So get going!") While the cops are busy pursuing the escaped criminals, the Acrobat (as "Captain America") robs the Glennville bank. 

    But the Torch is not fooled. The Torch gives chase but the Acrobat flees to his "floating sky platform" (described as "like an Aerobee rocket with a helicopter device for a launch pad"). It also has a escape capsule. The chase continues into a department store in which the Acrobat fires a sopping wet floor mop at the Torch with the bow from an archery set. From there the Acrobat flees in an asbestos-lined truck, but Johnny manages to free himself and capture the Acrobat.

    Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty #11 (appropriately titled ""Hello? Hello? Send Me Some New Linoleum") is set in the present day as the Torch relates the story to the real Captain America. The first line of the story is, "An asbestos-lined truck...?" to which Johnny replies, "Let me start from the beginning." A caption explains that this issue's tale is "based more closely than you'd like to believe on 1963's Strange Tales #114."

    Throughout the Torch's tale, Captain America interrupts with comments questions: "All those people thought it was me. At a car show. Signing autographs at a car show. *sigh* How much did I charge?" (Answer: "Twenty bucks a sig. Ten if you were wearing red, white and blue.") When Johnny gets to the part about the sky platform, Cap says, "I'm just making a list. He buys a Ferarri, a rocket-equipped sky platform, and a state-of-the-art escape missile in order to rob twenty grand from a bank."

    "What am I, his accountant? Do you want to hear this or not?"

    "Go on..."

    Cap particularly liked the part of the story in which Torch got hit by a wet mop and made him tell it twice. When Torch gets to the part about the asbestos-lined truck, Cap asks, "Did he buy it at the same place he bought his sky platform?"

    "I swear!"

    "You're making this up."

    It turns out the Acrobat has escaped from jail and the Torch and Captain America are tracking him down, bringing Cap face-to-face with the man who impersonated him. Later, he says, "No. No one thought that was me."

    "I was there! I promise you!"

    "You made it all up."

    "It's true!"

    "Then tell me again about the mop."

    "Oh, f'r cryin' out loud..."

    Strange Tales #114 was reprinted in Captain America #216, which is where I first read it.

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  • That's awesome! Thanks for all that detail, Jeff!

    And yeah, Luis, I don't think I'd fight Wolverine over 15 grand. 

  • I haven't read ST #114 in years. To fire a "sopping wet mop," that must have been a heckofva archery set. This reminds me of the previous issue in which the Plantman propelled the dew on the grass and trees at Johnny to (successfully!) douse his flame. When Plantman returned in #121 he pelted Johnny with acorns!

    Lining the truck with lead if you're dealing with Superman makes sense. Of course, if Superman sees that there is only one lead-lined truck he knows which truck to pick up. Did they think the asbestos (at the time thought to be safe) would prevent his Torch-vision from seeing inside the truck?

    Anyone who hasn't read the Torch's run in Strange Tales should do so. He lives in a little town with his sister Sue and thinks he has a secret identity! He amazingly* headlined Strange Tales from #101 to #134. Doctor Strange started in #110, but never had a cover blurb until #117. He had to settle for 5-page stories (or non-appearance) until #115, when it finally became a "split book," dropping the weird tales for just the Torch and Doctor Strange (though Doctor Strange only got 8-9 pages to the Torch's 13-14.

    * I am reminded by GCD that Martin Goodman thought the Human Torch was "good luck" based upon the 40s character. 

    ST #130 finally gave Doctor Strange a prominent cover appearance, somewhat spoiled by floating heads of Johnny and Ben Grimm in Beatle wigs. This pushed 16 1/2-year-old me to write a complaining letter. I think this was my only published letter, which was printed in #134. That issue teased the debut of Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD, which began in #135.

  • "To fire a 'sopping wet mop,' that must have been a heckofva archery set."

    Oh, that's where you draw the line? ;)

    He had to lie on his back and brace the bow with his feet, but still...

    "Anyone who hasn't read the Torch's run in Strange Tales should do so."

    I was too young for the original run in Strange Tales, but I was exactly the right age for the Human Torch reprint series in 1974. Each issue featured a Johnny Storm Torch story from Strange Tales and an original Torch Story from the Golden Age. It lasted only eight issues, but I did manage to buy them all new.

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